Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Fetishes we aren't proud of

Hey all,

Okay, I promised this topic the other day and I was 'encouraged' (sticking my tongue out at Siren) to make sure that I actually follow through and post on it. Before I go on, if anyone every wants to hear posts about certain parts of me or wants to see me mentally explore an idea/issue/whatever, shoot me at e-mail (Det_Jake_Bullet 'at' yahoo.com) or leave a comment. Can't promise that I'll always respond or will right away, but I'm sure there are things that y'all wonder about Jake Bullet and I love new ideas.

Secondly, the toe. Well, I have to be back in 2 weeks to have the other one done. And the left one.....well, yeah, it went mostly well and they gave me nice pills and the woman was very very nice and so was her nurse. So good times....well as good as they could have been. Plus I got my lollipop (not from the Dr.....although the Poet almost asked her for one for me). No more toe whining for the blog.

Fetishes we aren't proud of. Well, *I*, like many of you, have certain things that get my pink bits to spring to attention really fast. Some of them I'll share with practically anyone who will listen and others are more private things....and then there are those I am not proud of and I wish would go away. And I don't think that I'm alone on that. I think all of us have interests and fetishes that fall into those 3 categories. (Editors Note: For this post, I am using the term fetish to mean "fetishes and sexual interests". Not the clinical sense. Its just a general term here.)

The problem with fetishes is that even within our communities (the community of generally sex positive people and the BDSM community) there are certain things that are socially acceptable or common enough that no one really blinks twice about it. Even if its not your thing you can say to someone in the communities "Hey, I'd love a good over the knee spanking" and if they don't offer to do it, at the very least they'll likely say "Cool, I can get into that or atleast see that". Have a thing for rope, flogging, spanking, service, roleplay games, or feet/boots (as examples, not a be all and end all list)? No one says anything at all. People are generally fairly fine with those fetishes. And they're common enough that you can find people who get just as jazzed as you do, by those same activities. We all have these fetishes. Hell, even vanilla people can say "yeah, okay, I admit it, I get alittle wet when I think of spanking my boyfriend".

Have a thing for electro play, needles, fireplay, heavy humiliation, kidnap scenes, medical play or face slapping? Well these, you can still find people to do, but some of the time people will say something that transmits the message "Um, no, I just don't think so". Some people will thinks its wrong or overly dangerous or just plain not cool. Alot of edge play falls in here and I like alot of edgy things.....I love them for the mindfuck and the sensation. And its fine to say "Hey, I wouldn't do a medical play scene for $10,000, but when you do it, that's hot and I like that you like it". You don't have to like everything, but you should respect everything (except animals, dead people and children). Let me repeat that as it bears repeating.

You're a member of an oppressed sexual minority. You don't have to get off on or like what I like, but you need to respect that I get off on it and that its important for me.

Additionally, peoples fetishes change. I love fire play and electro play. Those both were soft limits at one point...and the same man taught me to love both. I used to think people who licked, kissed and got excited by boots were weird. I often now have fantasies of licking and touching boots....particularly if they are on a certain person. I used to be generally into alot more of the spanking type stuff (as an idea), now I'm what you might call a "sensation whore" in general. Don't get me wrong, I still get hella jazzed by the prospect of OTK spanking....I've just expanded my interests in the last 18 months. Fetishes grow and evolve and change and become generally different. You need to accept peoples growing and changing sexual interests.

There are also some fetishes and interests more private than others. I'll tell almost anyone that I think rope is really neat. But almost no one knows about my very special, very personal, very important roleplay game interest. I can count on one hand the number of people who I have spoken with who know about it. The reason I keep that one private? Well, its very special, its very emotionally involved for me, it puts me in a very vulnerable position and right now, I can count on one hand (and have several fingers left over) the people I would do it with. You should respect that people keep some things more private, even if it seems silly.

Now, to the part that many of you have been waiting for. The embarrassed shameful fetish. I'm NOT sharing mine here, because its my damn blog and I make the rules here. However....I will seriously consider putting the Fetish I Am Not Proud Of here, if 5 (five) people comment (under a name or anonymously) what there Fetish They Are Not Proud Of. You want to see it, then you can share too. Ha!

But yes, people have fetishes that they hate. That they try to deny. That they wish would go away. Lately, I am starting to really mentally get into the idea of boot worship and I can admit that with only mild amounts of squirming. Other people, that may be there deepest darkest, most forbidden fantasy that they hate and that they wish would go away. My advice generally on this is: be open, don't press people to share if they don't want to, and respect that different things get people off. And remember, no one knows why they get off on that hidden fetish. And no one can really control it. And so, just try to enjoy that fact that your idea of a good sex scene would likely squeak a majority of people and that makes you unique. Also, just from personal experience, don't try to dump that fetish you aren't proud of. It won't work. You'll be unhappy. Maybe you just mentally and cyberly (is that a word) explore it and never try it. That's cool too.

Now, that being said, I'm off to try one of these fancy little pills that I was given and I'll have something facsinating to post tomorrow as well. Thanks all for reading and commenting (hint)

Jake Bullet

PS: Sorry if this came off a little preachy....but I've been wanting to say this for awhile.

6 comments:

Really? said...

My private fetish (and i'm not comfortable calling it that) but i guess it falls into that category is..... *drum roll*

ageplay

I'm always hesitant to share that with someone because i know the negative thoughts that people get when they hear it.

I have a few more private fetishes..ones even i'm not going to share with anyone.. I haven't work them all out in my head yet..lol

DarkRebelSiren said...

Ageplay. It isnt one that is secret or that I am not proud of but also not something I bring up a lot because I often dont have the energy to explain that I dont mean a grown up dressed up in a school girl skirt...not that I dont like school girls skirts. ::grin:: Re-parenting. You think ageplay raises a brow. Throw at that term at your next munch.

One I am not proud of....hmmmm...even though it isnt so uncommon as far as fantasy fetishes go...rape fantasy. I am not overly proud of it because I hate the term "rape" to describe it.

Jake Bullet said...

I'm not comfertable with the term fetish to describe ageplay, particularily the re-parenting style of ageplay either. And for anyone wondering, ageplay was the very private interest of mine. I don't share that interest for the reasons Siren and Sparrow laid out. ::Looking for 3 more people::

Jake

Really? said...

I think from now on..I'm going to use the term "reparenting" instead of ageplay ..because that describes my interest better. And also because it maybe doesn't carry the negative emotional response that the word "ageplay" does..

Anonymous said...

God, isn't this funny? For a fetish we're all so shy to admit, it turns out a LOT of people like it!

Yup, for me it's ageplay generally. Love it, find it incredibly hot, and can't pull myself to write a story about it at all. The only time I tried, I hedged pathetically!

But maybe knowing this has made me brave. *grin*

I think both age play and rape fantasies are so "icky" because they have horrific "reality parallels". Admitting fantasies about them is so hideously un pc. There is a fear that people will accuse you of "glamourizing or fetishising" pedophilia or rape.

I think often it's just a matter of really identifying the core attractions. Both ageplay and rape fantasies are forms of dominance and submission. In one, the powerplay is in the ultra-safe environment of being in the care of someone who "loves you unconditionally" and in the other, the opposite. But both put the "bottom" in the position of being completely non-responsible for what transpires. Ah...I'm rambling.

Hugs,

rg
p.s. all your fetishes are delightful, sweetheart!

Anonymous said...

Age play and rape play.

Having been raped at 13 (how I lost my virginity) it's an interesting role playing scenario for me- I get to act it out but in the way I wish it could have been.

I don't talk much about it but I will. It's too weird that everyone so far seems to have the same shame. Screw all that. It's time to stand up and be counted. I'd rather be condemned by those that don't understand than condemned by my own shame.