Friday, December 30, 2005

Good Day

I went to the munch which was fun. I left the parents house at 8pm to go, and I got back at 4:45am. It was a gooooooood night. Lots of good talking.

Oh, and I made curry for the family which turned out really well, so I'm jazzed about that.

And I need sleep.

Jake

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Ruse and relatives

Well, the eloborate ruse worked. My grandpa had absolutely no idea that there was a surprise party for him and he enjoyed it a great deal. Good times were had by all.....well, except my uncle, but he very recently had back surgery and had to fly in and his back hurt. But good times were had by all others.

The relations (yes, I used that word because I'm weird, not because I don't know "relatives") are in town and I will be doing some entertaining tomorrow. And I may try cooking curry for the frist time in my life. Mmmmm....curry.

Dawson is taking my car to another state. Which was fine. Until the breaks completely failed on the car I was going to take. Not sure how I'm going to get to Chicago this weekend. Anyone up for a roadtrip?

I think I may be about to do something dumb tomorrow, but I'm committed to doing it.

Jake Bullet

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Post Xmas

Well, no ones killed anyone over the holidays, right? There were no screaming matches which where augmented by liberal amounts of eggnog? No yelling of phrases like "I wish your mother had never farted you out of her womb!"? No? Good, excellent. Moving along.

Well, as per usual, it has taken Dawson and I about 3 days to realize why we moved out. Here are the variety of things we have been scolded for:

#Dawson's haircut (it looks like a drunk person cut it, and thats probably what happened, but he likes it and frankly looks good in it)
#I don't "properly sleep in the bed" (I refuse to use flat sheets because I don't like them, just a comforter and fitted sheet, and apparently this is bad.....and I've been doing it for 10 years, so this is news to me)
#Dawson and I are both leaving town for New Years (drinking a bottle of champagne and hitting the sheets at 1am isn't appealing to either of us. He's heading to Iowa, I'm headed to the perv club)
#Language. Okay, this one I'll cop to. The phrase "Eat my ass" isn't very nice, but I say it with love and affection ::sweet puppy dog eyes::
#Grandpas party. I'm not even going to discuss this. There is just way too much effort going into the surprise aspect.

Anyway, Xmas went well. Many gifts I am hoping for will likely arrive in about 3 weeks due to it being the anniversary of my birth. I don't want a party. I just want someone to tie me down and hurt me till I cry, then hold me and kiss away tears. And an iPod. Thats ALL. And for the record, I am 21. And not for the first time. I'll be 21 till I turn 65 and am eligible for a Senior discount. 21 damn years old. And I don't need any lip about it.

Xmas Dinner went very well. Dawson ate some bad tort the night before and was out of commission for helping, but The Dad stepped in nicely. And he had no comments about my kicking new apron. And he was more than happy to play a supporting role and follow directions. The food was excellent, I stayed at the dinner table long enough to sample everything and watch everyone eat for signs of anything gone wrong. When I saw and tasted everything and knew it went well, I went and laid down on a couch near the table and closed my eyes and carried on conversations whilst half asleep. Cooking for 7 hours is tough.

I think I'm going to cook stuff again this afternoon.

Seeing Dawson is grand. I miss him when he isn't here.

Um, I got some rockin gifts including an Indian cookbook (mmmmmm....erotic curries) and a "Wusthof" chefs knife. Now Wusthof is the best type of knife in the world, but an 8" Chef's Knife is $110 and thats without any wood block to hold it or anything fancy, just the knife.

So The Dad got me a very nice Martha Stewart knife that was "engraved". Here is what the "engraving" on Xerox paper read (in part) "Dear Customer, We swear this really is a Whatsit brand knife.....er Wusthof knife. We've just been selling them like hot cakes and ran out of packaging. So we called up Martha and worked out a deal to package the Whatsit brand knifes. She's kinda been down on her luck since that whole prison thing. Enjoy your German Whatsit knife".

I have to admit I did laugh at that, alot actually. And I really didn't expect a Wusthof, it was a joke on my list, but I needed a good knife.

I also got copper pans!!! How awesome, hella functional and cool looking. I am so going to be chefing it up next semester.

Its been a good holiday so far. Toodles.

Jake Bullet

Saturday, December 24, 2005

YAR!!!!

For those few of you who don't read Twisted Monk (and why the hell don't you) you have to check this out.

At the Security job, Andrew is about ready to stab people. To castrate them really. Why? For the second time in 2 weeks, one of our keysets is missing. Considering that our primary job is controlling access to various parts of the building and that keyset can get you in 90% of the rooms here, its not very good. Thankfully, I was not on duty when the keyset grew legs and ran off. Apperently the last shift did 6 building tours (we normally do 2-4 per shift) looking for the keys. Andrew is seriously gonna stab somebody.

I got to bake today which is great. And on Xmas, I get to spend the day cooking. Menus is as follows. Turkey with dressing in bird. Whipped potatoes (You said whipped, HA HA!). Corn. From scratch gravy. Glazed carrots. Baked Mac and Cheese (All from Scratch, plus I found some absolutely beautiful, well aged cheeses to do it with). Cranberry stuff. And rolls. Dawson is helping me cook and I am totally jazzed. I mean, like, doing actual jazz hands jazzed.

Well, time to go explore the building and look for that damn keyset, I'll bet if I find it, Andrew would blow me right in the middle of the office.

Jake Bullet

Friday, December 23, 2005

Baking

I have a brand new apron.

I have nothing to do today except pick up 2 additional gifts, and frankly, I could take care of that tomorrow.

My parents have a very well stocked kitchen and so.......

I plan to spend my entire day baking. From scratch. Just because I can.

Right now my idea of heaven goes a little like this: My own Mini Cooper, a job in a proper kitchen, and a full set of Wusthof Trident knives that belong to me, and a bottle of very good Whiskey. Right now, if I had those things, I believe I could keel over and die, happy as can be.

I really need help, but for now, I'll have to be happy with just making all manner of cookies and pies.

Jake Bullet

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Quote of the Day

I'm bringing back quote of the day, if for no other reason than to ammuse myself.

From the Daily Show

-Stephen Colbert: After all, it was Thomas Jefferson who said "Everyone imposes his own system as far as his army can reach."
-Jon Stewart: No, that was Stalin. Thomas Jefferson said that he'd "Rather have free press and no government, than a government and no free press".
-Stephen Colbert: Well, what else would you expect from a slave-banging, Hitler loving queer?

Jake Bullet



A decision

I left the non security job back in November. There were a variety of reasons why, but I didn't leave under the best of circumstances and I swore I'd never go back.

And now, they are kind of in a jam. It would have happened regardless of whether I was there or not, but I can fix it. I know that I can fix it without too much work. But, I don't care whether the problem gets fixed or not. And secretly, I'd like to see my old boss suffer a little for being an asshole. Here's the kicker.

Andrew is incharge of fixing it. And said he wants me to help. And he's been authorized to offer me certain incentives (read mad cash and certain work conditions) in order to come back for a month.

Basicially, I'd be guaranteed about 6 weeks salary just for walking in the door, plus a full additionally months salary if I meet certain targets.

I'm not sure whether to do it or not. I do get to write my own contract and don't have to deal with certain annoying details which caused the leaving, but still.

I'll keep everyone up to speed.

Jake Bullet

Saturday, December 17, 2005

What a night

What a night. Normally, one is supposed to go out, drink, get food and then go home. Not repeat the same thing twice. But then again, I've never let words like "Normally" or "usually" get in my way. Here's how everything went down.

First and foremost, my pubic hair is intact. When I called to make appointments for the Fairy and I, I was told in a not very nice manner that this particular salon will not wax boy bits. I've been trying to figure out why.....Do some boys get hard, making things uncomfortable for the waxer? Or do boys cry or not show up or forget to grab a shower before going?? Oh well, I'm sure within a week or so the Fairy and I will make another attempt.

On to the libations.

So, it was Thursday, and that can only really mean on thing. It was time to drink. Drink and hang out with perverts. Good times indeed. And I had a lovely time. There were perverts and drinking and half naked women. For the record, having a woman I barely know show off new nipple and hood piercings used to be something to right home about. Now, its standard operating procedure. But yeah, I got to chat with alot of people, and tossed around some ideas with our illustrious group leader (more on this if it ever materializes) and generally just relax and be around like minded people. Well, then the Fairy and I went to an all night diner to grab food. And we chatted and laughed and generally had a lovely time. And by the time I took her home, I was tired and a little buzzed from the night.

Well, as I was almost home my phone started vibrating, telling me I had a new voicemail. It was Andrew, he had called hours earlier looking to drink. But for some reason I didn't get the voicemail till nearly midnight. Oh well, I called him back and told him I'd be there in 5 minutes. So we drove around and headed to a club that I have drive by dozens of times without ever knowing it existed. And apparently, Thursday is "gay night" at the club. Where every queer within 10 miles heads over for extremely loud music and absolutely delicious looking bartenders.
And its not in the fruit loop which was a little weird. And so we went, and hung out and managed to chat which was great. And what was also nice was I saw an old friend, the first person who ever put me in any kind of bondage ever (fist mitts, with locks on, on the first date, I know....stupid, but hot). And I got to talk to that boy a bit, now time to decide whether or not to call him, I dunno if I will. But yeah, good times, Andrew and I left a little before last call, and once we finally regained our sense of hearing, I dropped him at his place and headed back to mine.....completely exhausted.

But it was a good night. And odds are the Fairy and Andrew and I will go drinking on Monday in the fruit loop as the Fairy and I have started doing. And after hitting the Munch Thursday, Andrew and I will likely end up back down in the fruit loop. Good times.

Well, time for me to pretend to be doing work.....stupid work. Till later.

Jake Bullet

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Sometimes I'm not bright

Well then. So, you see, the thing is.....I can often easily be convinced to do foolish things. Drink too much, wear funny hats, or engage in unusual sexual practices. Normally, none of these things hurt much nor do I regret them afterwards (usually).

Unfortunately, I did agree to do something fairly stupid about a week ago. And today is the day it will be done......in all likely hood. I agreed to accompany a friend and get waxed.

Not like its the first time. I regularly have my eyebrows waxed to keep them well shaped and I am still quite manly thank you very much. No, no, no. The particular region to be waxed is not my eyebrows.

No, our region of interest is slightly below the waist, and well above the knees. Currently my 'pink bits' occupy that region.

Yes, I am having my pubic hair ripped out via hot wax. Am I crying about it? Not yet. Will I be driven to drink because of it? Very likely. Was this a very stupid idea? Yes, yes it was.

The ONLY reassuring thing is that previously, having my eyebrows waxed, combined with the proper breathing and a little mental work usually puts me in a very light sub space. The pain is just right to get those nice heady endophins kicking. Hopefully, when some evil Russian woman rips out my thatch, I'll get a similar endophin kick.

I think I'm going to go drink now.

Jake

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

fibs

Like all humans, sometimes I lie. Here is a list of fibs I've tried over the past week which have failed.

-It wasn't me. (Ussually defeated with either a "bullshirt" or a raised eyebrow)

-I could give up SM any time I wanted (I ussually can't even finish saying it without seriously cracking up)

-{fill in the blank} doesn't turn me on (I never manage to say it with a straight face)

-No (People always figured out I mean yes)

-Yes (same as above, but in reverse)

-I'd never do that! (Problem being that my motto is "I'll try damned near anything twice)

Grrrr, alright too bed me thinks.

Jake

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Obsessed


I've been obsessed lately.

that's not at all unusual for me. Its actually normally a good thing. I get very enamored by a topic for a few days or a few weeks and then let it go. It helps me learn a little bit about alot of things. But usually I get obsessed with something political, cultural or historical. Major world events, some esoteric political maneuver or the newest curry recipe are normal sorts of temporary fascinations for me. Right now, I'm obsessed with something different.

I've been obsessed with collars. A specific type of collar really. Imagine this......but don't imagine very hard because I'll have a picture soon enough. For example, the picture right over there. Yes that one. The one of the collar on the boy. (And no, thats not me, though, truth be told, I'd fuck him.) A steel metal bar, less than 1/2 inch across thats been bent into a circle and placed around someone's neck. Add in an almost undetectable hinge and a small recessed allen screw holding it locked into place. Discrete enough to easily wear to the office and simple call "Neo-Industrial jewelry" when asked by the coworkers. Designed so its absolutely not coming off without a specially designed allen wrench to remove it. Just a simple steel ring that says so so much to the right people.

I really really want one and I don't know why. I want one and I want to wear it and never take it off. I have *never* had a thing for locking metal collars before. And certainly not as a 24/7 accessory. Don't get me wrong, the idea of being given a collar has always intrigued me and I look forward to the day I get collared, but I've always imagined it as a leather collar to be worn at home and with like minded people at munches and conventions. And without a lock. I've always been way too worried about what happens if I'm in the office and a bugler comes in to steal my shirt, then what would people say?? I mean besides "Woah, that dude just stole your shirt". They may say things like " Hey Jake, you work in a professional office...what are you doing with what looks like a collar on your neck...and why is there a lock???" That would be less than good for me as far as a job goes.

But these collars, I mean, I think they could be passed off as a "normal" piece of jewelry with a little thought and creative fibbing. "Oh yes, my partner got me that for our anniversary, its neo-industrial jewelry. I thought it looked really cool". That could explain away to the vanilla world why I would be openly wearing a collar. And to those in the lifetyle, it would simply be a collar, a semi-discrete one, but a collar none the less.

I have actually dreamed the last 2 nights about being collared with a collar like that. That's actually really the only parts I remember about the dreams. But the parts about the collar are clear as can fucking be. They were good dreams I think. I think this little obsession started when I was reading part of Jay Wiseman's book SM 101. (Absolutely great book, btw) He was describing collars and there significance, some things about different types of collars, and his views on collars. And something just kind of struck me and so I started surfing to different SM stores I knew of, looking at there collars. And I saw one at JT Stockroom that was an all metal ring with a small hinge and lock on it. That sort of started the fascination with the metal ones.

And what's funny, is the necklace I wear, well, it has been mistaken for a collar before. Its a small sterling silver row of double rings that sits very high on my neck. And it has no clasp, all there is a a small jumper ring which I need to use a needle nose pliers to slide open and closed. I can't remember the last time I took it off, but I do know that the last time I did, I felt totally naked without it. I kept reaching up to gently tug on it....something I do randomly alot of the time and I was truly confused when I would reach up for it and find nothing.

One day I hope to be gently tugging against a real collar. But for now, the necklace will do....

Feel free to share your thoughts.

Jake Bullet