Sick as a dog

Well, I've been sick as a dog since about Sunday. It made me glad to have hair and fingernails.....if for no other reason then fingernails and hair cannot feel aches and pain.

And my entire weekend before Sunday was, well.....imagine for a second a BDSM scene involving having a cheese grater vigorously rubbed against your entire body. No, my weekend wasn't that bad.

Imagine that the cheese grater was very rusty and covered in Tabasco and ginger root.....my weekend wasn't that bad.

Imagine the cheese grater thing, plus being repeatedly kicked in the nuts with steel toe boots (no, I'm not some huge CBT masochist), plus having the unholy love child of Fran Dresher and Carrot Top being the one topping the scene. And this unholy love child is especially sadistic and knows the pain that their laughter and jokes cause the world. Well, okay, it wasn't quite that bad.

Imagine the nut kicking, cheese grater on body thing, the Carrot Top/Fran Dresher devil child topping you and then add in a large vibrating butt plug made of rusty steel wool. That’s how bad my weekend was. And then I got sick.

I'm feeling much better now. But several hours ago, I was sick as a dog. And so I had the bright idea to search through the boxes in my room, hoping to find drugs. And I found some lovely ones. Whoever invented painkillers and decongestant deserves some sort of award. In the search through boxes, I also managed to clean my room somewhat. Which is a good thing. Right now I've gotten most everything put away and put in the right place. So atleast something good came of the sickness......the plague as I like to call it.

One funny thing from the weekend. There was bowling and drinking involved and many trips to the bar. Now the bartender looked more than a little crazy and I was sort of fine with that, given that we were in a bowling alley. But, I must have made 6 or 7 trips to this bartender, getting my own drinks and drinks for others, getting beer nuts and getting bowling shoes. Well every time I went up there he'd say something to the effect of "hey Jim!!" (Note: Jim is not my real name nor is it a nickname I've ever gone by). After the third time we have a little something that went like this:

Crazy Bar Guy (CBG): Hey There Jim, ya need a refill?
Jake Bullet: [long pause].....hey....[longer pause]....Steve?... yeah another Miller Lite.
CBG: Coming right up Jim!

I figured if he was going to name me Jim, I was gonna call him Steve. Neither of us ever called the other one out on it. The problem with it is now Andrew keeps walking up to me and going "Heyyyyy..................Steve?" then he laughs. Silly Andrew.

So, yes, ignoring the weekend of hell, lets turn our attention to last Thursday. A most enjoy able Thursday. First off, the Toymaker had deliveries for me. One of which I desperately regret ordering. First toy is a rabbit flogger, like the one from the mean mindfuck. I like this one, its cute, its fuzzy, its furry, its simply Jim dandy. Then there is the evil toy. The evil horrid nasty toy. The mean evil nasty horrible toy.

I ordered a paddle shaped like a hairbrush. But that wasn't enough. So I ordered it to be a half inch thick. But that wasn't enough, so I asked for the wood to be oak instead of nice soft pine or aspen. Let me paint a picture. Jake Bullet, red assed, shaking, panicking, and maybe even crying a little as some mean, delightfully evil, Domly person comes at him with a Half inch thick, oak hairbrush shaped paddle. I'm just going to cry. It hurts my hand just testing it. Why, oh why do I feel the compulsion to buy things which hurt me?

Well, then there was Jill and I chatting part of the night away. And by chatting I mean, we talked while I fondled her. Why? Because secretly I like Jill a bit and I think she’s cute. So while we were chatting she had her legs in my lap and I started rubbing them. I mean what else is a boy to do when presented with legs in his lap? Sheesh. However, it was at the point that I had moved up the legs and was gently massaging Jill's....um, happy place... while the two of us were chatting with her boyfriend, that’s the point at which it might have been a little naughty.

Later in the night I had Jill in my lap and decided to just reach under her shirt, move annoying undergarments and fondle her breasts. Jacks reaction??

He shrugs and says, "Meh, I'm going home with her so have fun". So I proceeded to fondle and pinch and caresses her for a fair portion of the night. God I love Thursdays.

Then came an impromptu conversation Sally Jane and I had about our play session from the other weekend. It was definitely an intriguing conversation and I think we both walked away with a much better picture of the other and where we both are coming from. In an e-mail I got from her later, she said she was intrigued by me and that she looks forward to continuing the conversation. I like being impressive and I like being intriguing. I have absolutely no idea where this will go, but I'm jazzed by the prospects of breaking some assumptions that people have about me and by the possibilities.

Alright, time to lay down and then time to work on the secret, crazy, insane project and then clean the room a little bit more.

Jake Bullet