Marks...mmmmmm

I leaned over and smacked the alarm off this morning and then rolled onto my back. As I was still in that totally confused, still half asleep headspace, I gently brushed my arm across my chest, intending to rub the sleep out of my eyes. What I felt was a few tiny bits of pain as I rubbed over the burn marks from the flash cotton. I just grinned and remembered the panic that had been running through me as I burned. I moved my hand lower and felt how the right side of my stomach was covered with tiny stubble, rather than hair because it had all been burned off by alcohol. Again, I just smiled, remembering how I was so excited and scared as I let the Electrician burn me.

By this time, I was completely awake but I kept my eyes closed. Grinning to myself, I just let my hand explore my chest and discover various marks on my body from past few play sessions. Needle scratches that still feel different because, while closed up, they are still healing...though 90% of them are gone. Yellowish-brownish burn marks from flash cotton. Tiny red dots of electrical burns near my left nipple from some heavy electro play there. Most of the hair on the right side of my stomach just blackened stubble from the alcohol burns. Every time I found a mark with my fingers, I just gently traced that mark....remembering the scene, the feelings, the pain, the feeling of being small, the squirminess, the feeling of being someone’s if only for a short time, the emotions of it all. The scenes just came back to me. I loved it. And it was the perfect way to wake up. And the perfect time to talk about marks.

I remember that after the first scene I ever did, I was talking to the Top afterwards (who happens to be the munch leader) and discussing everything involved in the scene. One of the things she remarked is that because she was going light on me, the marks wouldn't last very long, maybe till the next afternoon. And we kept discussing marks, with me mostly nodding and asking open-ended questions to get more information. (Hey, that’s how I learned stuff, nodding a lot and asking questions) She told me that many submissives love having marks for days or even weeks at a time, which was a real surprise to me and even worried me a little. At the time, I couldn’t imagine A) playing hard enough to get marks which lasted that long or B) wanting to keep marks that long? What if I got hurt? What if I couldn’t play that hard? What if people saw them? What if my *parents* saw them? What if I had a scar from something? That’s what was running through my head back then.

Fast-forward about 18 months and its official. I love marks. I mean, I really really love marks.

I want to be marked so badly these days. I want to wear my marks with pride and show them off to the whole world. I want tell everyone (even the vanilla beans) about the person who loved me enough to leave me bruised, cut, red, bitten, scratched, or burned. Tell them about the person who left marks all over my body and how they did it.

To touch the makrs and look at them, remembering every detail. To thank a Dom for caring about me enough to leave there mark on me. To the idea of being able to thank someone with more than a handshake or a hug and kiss. ::blushing grin:: I LOVE marks and the idea of being marked.

Marks are something special. Its almost like my body is a canvas and scene/pain was a Domly type person painting me, but the marks, that’s the Doms signature on me. That’s the part that makes it artwork instead of just paint on canvas. I just can't explain how I feel about being marked. But looking at them while fresh and remembering who gave them to me and what it was like....well its special to me. I don' think I'm alone here either, I think alot of people like having marks. It’s like a little reminder. And in some ways, it’s almost a re-enforcement type thing. I'm not sure I'm explaining it right, but seeing the marks and the little jolts of pain they provide while fresh, well it reminds me of things. And not just of the scene, but it also reminds me that I'm a pervert. Reminds me that I enjoy suffering just because the person doing it gets off on my pain and submission. Reminds me that I earned the marks. Reminds me that I'm not a normal boy, but something....special, almost. Its just a good reminder of how while I pretend to be normal everyday, on the inside, I'm not. And I love the reminder.

After my needle play scene with the Piercer, in the days after, when the marks didn't hurt unless I touched them, I loved that whenever I had a free moment, I could just roughly rake my nails across my chest/stomach and feel the hurt come back, just for a few seconds. In the elevator, in my office if no one was around, in the halls if they were empty. Just 5 seconds to close my eyes, roughly rake my fingers around the scratches thru my shirt, to feel the pain again, the micro-endorphin rush from the pain, remembering the Piercers voice and the Fairy's teasing. I loved that until the marks healed too much to hurt anymore, but I can still look at them and remember.

I wish I could better explain why I love being marked, but I don't feel that I've done the topic justice. Its just one of those squirmy inside feelings that I can't seem to explain very well or really verbalize. I just know I love getting, feeling, seeing and having marks all over my body. I'm really a whore for marks.

But hey, I'm just one guy. What do y'all think?

Jake Bullet