Forgot this bit

Best quote from the drive by Jonathan and I

After talking with his mom on the phone about checking the internal temp of the bird with a meat thermometer.
-Jake(in a very resigned voice): Jonathan, I just....Jonathan, take this for what its worth, but never accidentally switch the rectal probe with the meat thermometer....(long sigh)...its just better for everyone involved
-Jonathan (giggling): I can't believe you said that
-Jake(still very serious and dry): See, the meat thermometer is sharp and when you're inserting it into a human colon, well, that's just a little uncomfortable for all involved, what with the perforation of the bowels and the blood and the crying and screaming. Plus then you end up with partially cooked bird parts in your ass, and no one likes that....well, almost no one...but we don't talk about those sickos (saying the sickos part in a very hauty voice)
-Jonathan (crying with laughter): partially cooked bird parts in the ass?????
-Jake: yeah, its just not tasty like that, not at all (shudders)
-Jonathan: I can't believe I haven't had you killed yet. No more talkie for you anymore
-Jake: And you try wiping the lube off a rectal probe and then jamming it in the side of a turkey, its, well, its difficult Jonathan, I won't lie to you, I've tried these things before. And lube does not make a good seasoning, better to stick to....well, you know, not lube
-Jonathan: (smacks me and laughs more)

I'm a little evil sometimes.

Jake Bullet