Thursday, September 29, 2005

Preping for the event

Well, its close to 4am, I'm waking up in 5 hours and I'm waiting for my laundry to get done. Why do laudry at 4am? Well, when you have to wash all your cute outfits for an event this weekend and you get home at 2am, there really isn't a choice.

This weekend is Kinky Kollege and man do I need it.

Class, work, other work, and life have just been hell these last few weeks. I feel like I haven't been able to relax at all lately and so I am really looking forward to it.

The Poet and I leave early Friday morning and will be gone till late on Sunday. Tomorrow I'm getting a haircut and my eyebrows done so I look cute, I have enough clothes ready to go to leave town for a week, my toy bag is packed(including the gnome), I did a little "manscaping" earlier today and so I am very close to being ready to go.

Hopefully a few other people from the munch will be there as well and it should be a ton of fun.

Anyway, I just heard the little bell ring so time to change loads and then get some sleeeeeeeeeeep.

Oh and before I forget, check out Siren's latest entry. I dream of the day when I have a connection like that with someone. Siren and Raven are just about two of the coolest people I know. :)

I promise I'll post again tomorrow before I leave and I am sure there will be many great stories of the weekend.

Jake Bullet

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Randomness

Ahhh, Friday nights working stupid security...wonderous I tell you. Wonderous in the same way that being stuck in a phone booth with an angry walrus is wonderous. (Note: hey, if you think coming up with metaphors this good is easy, then you try)

Some Thursdays are almost nothing but BDSM talk in one way or another, the group will have 12 different conversations running all over the bar about BDSM, sex, scenes and fun parties. People drift from one conversation to another, atleast one pairing of people is covertly, but at the same time obviously flirting and planning a night of wild sexy business. Poeple talk about toys, tease one another and groping is occasionally involved. Other days its like this past Thursday.

For no particular reason, things generally seem slightly muted. People aren't as spread out physcially around the bar and the conversations are about more mundane things. Jack, Jill, Andrew and I spent most of the evening saying silly things, discussing West Wing, retelling Lewis Black jokes or just chewing the fat. Quite enjoyable, in a slow, glowy sort of way. Just not quite as much fun as discussions of sex, followed by more discussions of sex.

I think the quite nights are like slowly enjoying a good bottle of wine. Many nights are like doing shots of tequilla and body shots, trying to remember whose turn it is to buy the next round. Both are good at different times, both are quite delicious, but they are different.

I wish I could go to sleep right now, but I can't. So, I'm going to do the next best thing, listen to the radio and veg out.

Peace y'all.

Jake Bullet

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Sick as a dog

Well, I've been sick as a dog since about Sunday. It made me glad to have hair and fingernails.....if for no other reason then fingernails and hair cannot feel aches and pain.

And my entire weekend before Sunday was, well.....imagine for a second a BDSM scene involving having a cheese grater vigorously rubbed against your entire body. No, my weekend wasn't that bad.

Imagine that the cheese grater was very rusty and covered in Tabasco and ginger root.....my weekend wasn't that bad.

Imagine the cheese grater thing, plus being repeatedly kicked in the nuts with steel toe boots (no, I'm not some huge CBT masochist), plus having the unholy love child of Fran Dresher and Carrot Top being the one topping the scene. And this unholy love child is especially sadistic and knows the pain that their laughter and jokes cause the world. Well, okay, it wasn't quite that bad.

Imagine the nut kicking, cheese grater on body thing, the Carrot Top/Fran Dresher devil child topping you and then add in a large vibrating butt plug made of rusty steel wool. That’s how bad my weekend was. And then I got sick.

I'm feeling much better now. But several hours ago, I was sick as a dog. And so I had the bright idea to search through the boxes in my room, hoping to find drugs. And I found some lovely ones. Whoever invented painkillers and decongestant deserves some sort of award. In the search through boxes, I also managed to clean my room somewhat. Which is a good thing. Right now I've gotten most everything put away and put in the right place. So atleast something good came of the sickness......the plague as I like to call it.

One funny thing from the weekend. There was bowling and drinking involved and many trips to the bar. Now the bartender looked more than a little crazy and I was sort of fine with that, given that we were in a bowling alley. But, I must have made 6 or 7 trips to this bartender, getting my own drinks and drinks for others, getting beer nuts and getting bowling shoes. Well every time I went up there he'd say something to the effect of "hey Jim!!" (Note: Jim is not my real name nor is it a nickname I've ever gone by). After the third time we have a little something that went like this:

Crazy Bar Guy (CBG): Hey There Jim, ya need a refill?
Jake Bullet: [long pause].....hey....[longer pause]....Steve?... yeah another Miller Lite.
CBG: Coming right up Jim!

I figured if he was going to name me Jim, I was gonna call him Steve. Neither of us ever called the other one out on it. The problem with it is now Andrew keeps walking up to me and going "Heyyyyy..................Steve?" then he laughs. Silly Andrew.

So, yes, ignoring the weekend of hell, lets turn our attention to last Thursday. A most enjoy able Thursday. First off, the Toymaker had deliveries for me. One of which I desperately regret ordering. First toy is a rabbit flogger, like the one from the mean mindfuck. I like this one, its cute, its fuzzy, its furry, its simply Jim dandy. Then there is the evil toy. The evil horrid nasty toy. The mean evil nasty horrible toy.

I ordered a paddle shaped like a hairbrush. But that wasn't enough. So I ordered it to be a half inch thick. But that wasn't enough, so I asked for the wood to be oak instead of nice soft pine or aspen. Let me paint a picture. Jake Bullet, red assed, shaking, panicking, and maybe even crying a little as some mean, delightfully evil, Domly person comes at him with a Half inch thick, oak hairbrush shaped paddle. I'm just going to cry. It hurts my hand just testing it. Why, oh why do I feel the compulsion to buy things which hurt me?

Well, then there was Jill and I chatting part of the night away. And by chatting I mean, we talked while I fondled her. Why? Because secretly I like Jill a bit and I think she’s cute. So while we were chatting she had her legs in my lap and I started rubbing them. I mean what else is a boy to do when presented with legs in his lap? Sheesh. However, it was at the point that I had moved up the legs and was gently massaging Jill's....um, happy place... while the two of us were chatting with her boyfriend, that’s the point at which it might have been a little naughty.

Later in the night I had Jill in my lap and decided to just reach under her shirt, move annoying undergarments and fondle her breasts. Jacks reaction??

He shrugs and says, "Meh, I'm going home with her so have fun". So I proceeded to fondle and pinch and caresses her for a fair portion of the night. God I love Thursdays.

Then came an impromptu conversation Sally Jane and I had about our play session from the other weekend. It was definitely an intriguing conversation and I think we both walked away with a much better picture of the other and where we both are coming from. In an e-mail I got from her later, she said she was intrigued by me and that she looks forward to continuing the conversation. I like being impressive and I like being intriguing. I have absolutely no idea where this will go, but I'm jazzed by the prospects of breaking some assumptions that people have about me and by the possibilities.

Alright, time to lay down and then time to work on the secret, crazy, insane project and then clean the room a little bit more.

Jake Bullet

Thursday, September 15, 2005

D/s versus S&M

::blushing furiously and squirming around at Siren's comment, quietly taking the penny you gave me into my pocket::

Yes Siren I'm sure that you do have a delightful little store in mind. Not that the idea of going to that store with you and pushing my comfort level simultaneously scares the shit out of me and excites me or anything.

Well, alright, I have a little more time tonight and I want to expand on the comment I made yesterday. Yesterday I said:
First idea, I am more okay with my like of S&M than I am with D/s. D/s type things are still scary and all that and still occasionally have me saying "Am I really doing this?". I still really really like the concept of D/s and want to do it, but I'm less sure of my footing there.

I wanted to clarify this and expand a little bit. The short explanation for that comment is that the notion of really doing real time D/s scares me because I've never had a chance to really do it. What I mean by that is that I have done enough S&M scenes that I'm relatively accepting of those activities, while I've never had the privledge of being in a real time, real life official D/s relationship. And that makes D/s new to me.

Now this may come as a shock to some of you, but new things scare me....alot. My first munch, play party, convention and scene were all deeply frightening and a little bit unnerving for me. Things which are new are hard for me, they're a definite challenge and they are difficult for me.

The other reason why D/s scares me and why I am a little less sure of myself is the commitment it takes. One can have a good S&M scene with a few minutes of negotiation and a free hour or two. After the scene is finished (and the wonderful aftercare has been taken care of) two people can part ways, each happy with the scene without much follow up. (Side note: Obviously I encourage more negotiation, longer scenes and talking afterwards whenever possible.) D/s though isn't like that. Its different.

You can't negotiate a real D/s relationship in a few minutes or even in a few days time. Its something huge, something super important, something that should be deeply meaningful and special. There's weeks and months of constant on-going negotiation, subtle give and take, minor adjustments, screwups and great moments. Plus its requires an ongoing commitment. You can say to your partner, if its just S&M, "well hey, I just don't feel like being beaten today". In a D/s relationship, you can still try to say that, but in the end, if your partner snaps and points at the ground, you're still expected to be on your knees and obedient. Its that 24/7 thing. The using titles even when standing in line together at the bank. The "constantness" of it. The specialness of it. The really submitting to someone and there rules and expectations and desires.

Those things that scare me. But at the same time, I'd sell my right foot on eBay for the chance to do it with the right person. Hell, I'd sell my body to science for the opportunity to do it.

I intended for this to be a little more coherent and put together, but alas, my brain simply isn't working very well right now. And Its time for little boys to sleep. So alas, I must be off.

Jake Bullet

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Quoted!

Well, the SpankingBlog has once again quoted me, which is very nice indeed. Its nice to know the people read my stuff and care about what I think. I mean, I know I have blog fans and regular readers, but its always nice for a more famous blog to quote you.

SpankBoss quoted a short little section from yesterday where I remarked that I am officially a pervert and that I'm surprisingly okay with it. And that has given me two new topic ideas.

First idea, I am more okay with my like of S&M than I am with D/s. D/s type things are still scary and all that and still occasionally have me saying "Am I really doing this?". I still really really like the concept of D/s and want to do it, but I'm less sure of my footing there.

Second idea, my acceptance of my strange desires has come slowly with a few leaps forward. Sort of a steady progress, with the occasional blind flash of insight.

I'll be exploring these topics and many more in the coming days.

Alright, well I am sore, sweaty, tired and in need of a shower. I just helped Andrew move and so its into the shower with me and then beddy bye.

Lata all.

Jake Bullet

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

A mean mindfuck

Shortish update on the life of Jake Bullet.

In the past 3 days, I have made BDSM related purchases every day.

On Saturday, The toymaker had a neat little toy he called "Mini-Me". Its a sturdy handle with a medium sized square of heavy leather attached to it. Its stings a great deal, makes a pretty noise and it looks innocent. Looks innocent but is actually mean as hell. I like this new toy. One day, I'm sure I'll hate it, but right now I like it alot.

On Sunday, I decided to finally go out and get a number of non-kinky, but necessary items to keep in my bag. I've now got a sharps container, a full first aid kit, a bottle of glucose tablets (they're just great to help you recover from an intense scene), and latex gloves (safe sex and needle play). Nothing too kinky, but good stuff to have none the less. I also took the opportunity to clean out and organize my toy bag. All the safety stuff is in one section. Various personal sex items (dildos and plugs) are in the other section. The middle is reserved for my rope, floggers and other toys. Good times.

Today, the Poet got me a cutting board which will make a delightful paddle. And I picked myself up a wooden spoon. But no ordinary wooden spoon. This is as hefty as many paddles I've seen. I'm sure some perverted spanking fan designed it knowing that it would rarely be used on food and frequently used on hot sore bottoms. It is slightly curved so it hugs my ass perfectly. I like that spoon.

I think its official. I am a dirty pervert. Oh well, I kind of like it. Moving along.

The Mindfuck? Well good story there. I'll keep it short. There was another party this weekend and I was invited (I feel so cool to get the invites to these parties). And Sally Jane was there. Sally Jane is a new Domme in the area who is unpartnered. She is good friends with the Toymaker and is considered a very heavy player. She just really hits hard and the Toymaker says "She's not fit to play with normal people". Well, I happen to think that Sally Jane is akind of cute and even though I'm not looking for a relationship with her, I wanted to play. So we played and the Toymaker helped her make sure I wasn't being pushed too hard. Well because I was "peaking" I got blindfolded midway through which I thought was very mean. Okay secretly I liked it a little but still.

Anyways, they two of them take out the nasty sounding toy I've ever heard. It makes the heavy bottoms cringe and so its wayyyyy too heavy for me. I'm new, I need to work up to that level. But they take it out and start swishing it (its a particularity evil cane) and talking to themselves like I'm not in the room.

Sally Jane: Do you think he can take this one?
Toymaker: Well we can always mop up the blood.
Sally Jane: Good point.

And thats only a snippet of the conversation. So I was a little freaked out. And then I felt the can very very gently tapping my ass and I heard Sally Jane ask if I was ready. I replied with a very shaky and scared "kinda". And then I felt it move away. I heard the characteristic swish of the cane and I tensed up, waiting for an unbelievable line of pain on my ass.

Instead I felt a very soft, furry rabbit skin flogger gently thud onto my ass. I half screamed and then (without thinking) just said "oh man, oh, fuck you, oh god, that was mean".

A tip for any new kids. When you say "fuck you" to a Domme, they tend to use that as a good reason to be extra mean. And they don't like it very much.

But it was all good. A very nice mindfuck and a good scene. She wasn't really upset at all about me using bad words, she just teased me about it later.

I'd write more, but I want to get a little shut eye.

Jake Bullet

Monday, September 12, 2005

easy shift

Well, i just punched out of work and it was the easiest shift ever. Why? Well, I spent pretty much the entire evening working on the story I alluded to yesterday. The story makes me squirmy just writing it.

And today the prof who teaches my two monday classes is out of town so I have the day off. So I'll be back in a few hours to write here.

Well, time to get some sleep. More posting will be had this afternoon.

Jake Bullet

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Topics to cover

In the coming days we'll be exploring the following topics:

Recent play parties
love/hate relationships in BDSM
BDSM and body image
and random life musing.

I'm also working on another perverted story which may or may not make it here. It may be for private consumption only. Who knows.

I've also completed moving. Now I just have to get the new place set up.
School is going nicely.
I'm generally a happy boy right now. Okay, more later tonight and in the coming days.

Jake Bullet

Thursday, September 08, 2005

An unexpected 3:30am update

So, I had just fallen asleep... I was just in that half asleep half awake zone when a ringing starts coming from my desk. And I wander over to start pounding on my alarm clock and noticed it was actually my phone. And it was Siren on the other end. And we got to chat for about 3 fabulous hours. Which was great. And I managed to go from groggy to completely and totally awake in the span of about 11 nanoseconds when I heard her.

I got to tell her all about the last play party. We got to discuss all kinds of things and catch up. We got to share funny stories and talk about random little things in our lives. She got to be delightfully evil and make me blush and squirm and get butterflies in my stomach. We got to chat about things which would make me whine and beg and plead but that secretly excite me. Much fun was had by all. Much catching up and teasing was accomplished.

Unfortunately, the Goddess' of phone technology decided to spoil the phone call midway through by disrupting the call. And what was really great about that was right after I asked about another crazy idea I had, and right after Siren said that it was something that could be looked into....thats when the phone died. So I'm pretty much going to be nonstop thinking about that little possibility for the next few days. A possibility which is simultaneously scary and exciting.

Anywho, I need to actually get some sleep, because I have class tomorrow. But rest assured, you shall all hear fabulous tales of play parties and the other wonders of my life. Ta ta folks.

Jake Bullet

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Playtime

Hey folks,

Yeah, so we're going to have to hold off on that description of the BDSM play party for a few reasons. First, I have to figure out which details I'm okay with sharing in this blog and which ones will be kept secret. Second, I have to actually write what happened and that's gonna take awhile. Third, I want to tell some people what happened before telling the whole world. So the description will have to wait. And it will be broken into several posts. As a consolation prize, here is another teaser

I had two fabo scenes. One very nice one with the electrician which involved a TENS unit, a mercury switch and LOTS of tickling. I'm secretly very ticklish.

The second scene was with Alice. A very nice Domme who loves to beat me. It was really, really intense for me and took alot out of me. There was grunting and cursing involved. And everyone clapped after we were through. That was good rough times.

Then I made the mistake of setting my shoes on Alice's kitchen table which earned me a little punishment. I real fast learned that punishment hurts, but not in the happy fun way. But guess what, I will never as long as I love set my shoes anywhere in her house but on the floor. Ever. I make alot of mistakes but usually I learn fairly fast.

Oh yeah, and Paul got me a lawn gnome. An unstolen lawn gnome, but that's another story. Well, time to work on an e-mail and then get some sleep. I have early class tomorrow.

Jake Bullet

PS. Keep the comments coming. I greatly enjoy them.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Playtime teaser

Yesterday I was at a private play party all day with the Poet. Much fun was had by all.

I can assure you that there will be lots of fun and fabulous stories tomorrow and maybe later tonight. But for now, I need to go socialize with the family. I promise regular posting will resume shortly....like later tonight.

Jake Bullet