Hey all,
Okay, I promised this topic the other day and I was 'encouraged' (sticking my tongue out at Siren) to make sure that I actually follow through and post on it. Before I go on, if anyone every wants to hear posts about certain parts of me or wants to see me mentally explore an idea/issue/whatever, shoot me at e-mail (Det_Jake_Bullet 'at' yahoo.com) or leave a comment. Can't promise that I'll always respond or will right away, but I'm sure there are things that y'all wonder about Jake Bullet and I love new ideas.
Secondly, the toe. Well, I have to be back in 2 weeks to have the other one done. And the left one.....well, yeah, it went mostly well and they gave me nice pills and the woman was very very nice and so was her nurse. So good times....well as good as they could have been. Plus I got my lollipop (not from the Dr.....although the Poet almost asked her for one for me). No more toe whining for the blog.
Fetishes we aren't proud of. Well, *I*, like many of you, have certain things that get my pink bits to spring to attention really fast. Some of them I'll share with practically anyone who will listen and others are more private things....and then there are those I am not proud of and I wish would go away. And I don't think that I'm alone on that. I think all of us have interests and fetishes that fall into those 3 categories. (Editors Note: For this post, I am using the term fetish to mean "fetishes and sexual interests". Not the clinical sense. Its just a general term here.)
The problem with fetishes is that even within our communities (the community of generally sex positive people and the BDSM community) there are certain things that are socially acceptable or common enough that no one really blinks twice about it. Even if its not your thing you can say to someone in the communities "Hey, I'd love a good over the knee spanking" and if they don't offer to do it, at the very least they'll likely say "Cool, I can get into that or atleast see that". Have a thing for rope, flogging, spanking, service, roleplay games, or feet/boots (as examples, not a be all and end all list)? No one says anything at all. People are generally fairly fine with those fetishes. And they're common enough that you can find people who get just as jazzed as you do, by those same activities. We all have these fetishes. Hell, even vanilla people can say "yeah, okay, I admit it, I get alittle wet when I think of spanking my boyfriend".
Have a thing for electro play, needles, fireplay, heavy humiliation, kidnap scenes, medical play or face slapping? Well these, you can still find people to do, but some of the time people will say something that transmits the message "Um, no, I just don't think so". Some people will thinks its wrong or overly dangerous or just plain not cool. Alot of edge play falls in here and I like alot of edgy things.....I love them for the mindfuck and the sensation. And its fine to say "Hey, I wouldn't do a medical play scene for $10,000, but when you do it, that's hot and I like that you like it". You don't have to like everything, but you should respect everything (except animals, dead people and children). Let me repeat that as it bears repeating.
You're a member of an oppressed sexual minority. You don't have to get off on or like what I like, but you need to respect that I get off on it and that its important for me.
Additionally, peoples fetishes change. I love fire play and electro play. Those both were soft limits at one point...and the same man taught me to love both. I used to think people who licked, kissed and got excited by boots were weird. I often now have fantasies of licking and touching boots....particularly if they are on a certain person. I used to be generally into alot more of the spanking type stuff (as an idea), now I'm what you might call a "sensation whore" in general. Don't get me wrong, I still get hella jazzed by the prospect of OTK spanking....I've just expanded my interests in the last 18 months. Fetishes grow and evolve and change and become generally different. You need to accept peoples growing and changing sexual interests.
There are also some fetishes and interests more private than others. I'll tell almost anyone that I think rope is really neat. But almost no one knows about my very special, very personal, very important roleplay game interest. I can count on one hand the number of people who I have spoken with who know about it. The reason I keep that one private? Well, its very special, its very emotionally involved for me, it puts me in a very vulnerable position and right now, I can count on one hand (and have several fingers left over) the people I would do it with. You should respect that people keep some things more private, even if it seems silly.
Now, to the part that many of you have been waiting for. The embarrassed shameful fetish. I'm NOT sharing mine here, because its my damn blog and I make the rules here. However....I will seriously consider putting the Fetish I Am Not Proud Of here, if 5 (five) people comment (under a name or anonymously) what there Fetish They Are Not Proud Of. You want to see it, then you can share too. Ha!
But yes, people have fetishes that they hate. That they try to deny. That they wish would go away. Lately, I am starting to really mentally get into the idea of boot worship and I can admit that with only mild amounts of squirming. Other people, that may be there deepest darkest, most forbidden fantasy that they hate and that they wish would go away. My advice generally on this is: be open, don't press people to share if they don't want to, and respect that different things get people off. And remember, no one knows why they get off on that hidden fetish. And no one can really control it. And so, just try to enjoy that fact that your idea of a good sex scene would likely squeak a majority of people and that makes you unique. Also, just from personal experience, don't try to dump that fetish you aren't proud of. It won't work. You'll be unhappy. Maybe you just mentally and cyberly (is that a word) explore it and never try it. That's cool too.
Now, that being said, I'm off to try one of these fancy little pills that I was given and I'll have something facsinating to post tomorrow as well. Thanks all for reading and commenting (hint)
Jake Bullet
PS: Sorry if this came off a little preachy....but I've been wanting to say this for awhile.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Work, Work, Work
I am not a very happy boy right now.
I just had a 3 hour meeting (yes midnight to 3am) with my boss. And now, after that meeting, I have 15 items on my to do list. Atleast 7 of which need to be done before I leave tonight. All of these 15 items to do involve me picking fights with various other departments and people at work. All of them will require atleast one face to face follow up meeting with various people at work outside of my department. And most of these items will involve days or weeks of follow up and actively fighting people for things they don't want to give me. I yelled at my boss a little for putting this all on me (because several of these things are very outside of my area of responsibility) but heres the really sucky part. All these things really do need to be done. And I wouldn't trust anyone else (except for Andrew in a helper role) to do any of this.
My boss's staff person was there as well and asked me if I wanted an intern or 2. And I said no. Stupid isn't it?? But I'm *very* particular about how I run my sub department. And I'd rather not have the help of an intern who I would end up yelling at constantly and redoing his or her work. So yeah, I'm not pleased with all this work, but on the bright side, I will get to secretly grin and say "erection" when I win. But its alot of fights that I have to actively pick, plus which ever ones naturally pop up. Why did I take this job? And why do I refuse to let anyone do any of it. Well, no, I'm going to have to assign Andrew to 2 of these things, but even then, I need to supervise to make sure we get what we want.
I really didn't want to write about this tonight. I wanted to write about fetishes we're not proud of. That would have been interesting. But I had to write about this.
Right now, would be the perfect time to have a violet wand and a rake attachment and just rub the back of my head with it. Just have somebody hold me and use a rake attachment on my head and tell me everything will be cool. That would be nice right now.
On my personal to do list:
-E-mail Pere asking if he'll pierce my left nipple at another convention I'm going to. And ask him if he'd be willing to do a needle play scene with me at the same convention.
-Keep......practicing....Because I'm thankful that I have another week to practice before trying asking for real.
-Send thank you notes to those who had a party after the CPR thing.
-E-mail the CPR person thanking them
-Work on my dad's 50th B-day party
-Figure out whether to talk to the sisters about the thing. Which I really don't want them to do.
I need a freaking vacation. Atleast I get to see Jonathan this weekend, I'm going to bring a fifth of whisky with me and just totally cut loose at his party. I need it.
Still not smoking....still kinda want one. Still have to go to the doctor and still looking for ways to squeak out of it.
Well, time to get started on the list of shit to do. Keep them comments coming people. They make blogging worth it.
Jake Bullet
I just had a 3 hour meeting (yes midnight to 3am) with my boss. And now, after that meeting, I have 15 items on my to do list. Atleast 7 of which need to be done before I leave tonight. All of these 15 items to do involve me picking fights with various other departments and people at work. All of them will require atleast one face to face follow up meeting with various people at work outside of my department. And most of these items will involve days or weeks of follow up and actively fighting people for things they don't want to give me. I yelled at my boss a little for putting this all on me (because several of these things are very outside of my area of responsibility) but heres the really sucky part. All these things really do need to be done. And I wouldn't trust anyone else (except for Andrew in a helper role) to do any of this.
My boss's staff person was there as well and asked me if I wanted an intern or 2. And I said no. Stupid isn't it?? But I'm *very* particular about how I run my sub department. And I'd rather not have the help of an intern who I would end up yelling at constantly and redoing his or her work. So yeah, I'm not pleased with all this work, but on the bright side, I will get to secretly grin and say "erection" when I win. But its alot of fights that I have to actively pick, plus which ever ones naturally pop up. Why did I take this job? And why do I refuse to let anyone do any of it. Well, no, I'm going to have to assign Andrew to 2 of these things, but even then, I need to supervise to make sure we get what we want.
I really didn't want to write about this tonight. I wanted to write about fetishes we're not proud of. That would have been interesting. But I had to write about this.
Right now, would be the perfect time to have a violet wand and a rake attachment and just rub the back of my head with it. Just have somebody hold me and use a rake attachment on my head and tell me everything will be cool. That would be nice right now.
On my personal to do list:
-E-mail Pere asking if he'll pierce my left nipple at another convention I'm going to. And ask him if he'd be willing to do a needle play scene with me at the same convention.
-Keep......practicing....Because I'm thankful that I have another week to practice before trying asking for real.
-Send thank you notes to those who had a party after the CPR thing.
-E-mail the CPR person thanking them
-Work on my dad's 50th B-day party
-Figure out whether to talk to the sisters about the thing. Which I really don't want them to do.
I need a freaking vacation. Atleast I get to see Jonathan this weekend, I'm going to bring a fifth of whisky with me and just totally cut loose at his party. I need it.
Still not smoking....still kinda want one. Still have to go to the doctor and still looking for ways to squeak out of it.
Well, time to get started on the list of shit to do. Keep them comments coming people. They make blogging worth it.
Jake Bullet
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Many things
Many things to cover today. Enjoy in good health.
First, the Poet has joined me at work and we're going to take some fun pictures fascinating things at my night job. I want to take up photography so she's very very kindly offered to teach me some of the basics of composition and lighting and whatnot. I probably won't end up taking anything useful, but atleast I might learn one or two things.
Secondly, I'm going to get CPR and first aid certified by a kinky nurse tomorrow. Good times will likely be had by all. Though the odds of this are very very low, I have hopes of some sort of white latex nurses outfit.
Thirdly, I will infact be going back to see a doctor about my foot next Wednesday. When I related the story to my mother (the Mom) she found it very amusing, but that's because I was going for a cute and amusing story when I told her. She let me know that many of her patients (male and female) just won't see male doctors because they move too fast and impersonally. Which makes sense because that whole moving too fast (along his torture tools from the inqusition) were what freaked me out. So yeah, not looking forward to that but the Poet will come along and come to the room and to be honest I don't really have a choice about the matter. Some combination of Jonathan, the Poet, and Siren will kick my ass if I don't go. Atleast its a female doctor. Maybe I'll get a lollipop afterwards.
Fourth, I got to talk most of the night away with Siren last night. And it was really great, also very difficult, very much a good series of conversations, very new and very scary. It was quite the conversation. Because I like lists and its easier to form my thoughts that way, I'll share some of the highlites of things which happened. I am not sharing any of it because some of its private and just not for public consumption. Plus those things would make me blush like a little school girl and that's just not the image I'm going for right now. So enjoy the list about our conversations.
-She won't let me push her away or deflect her questions with humour.
-She is very persuasive.
-Things which embarrass me, she finds often adorable and/or cute.
-Asking for things is very, very hard.
-There are atleast 3 habits, which I have, that are going to suck to try to get rid of (Punishing myself for things, allowing myself to "need" things, trusting others to worry about other things).
-The word "yeah" needs to rapidly leave my vocabulary.
-Next week is going to be very interesting.
-She can read me like a book despite my best attempts to be mysterious.
-We both like alot of the same things.
-I *love* talking to her and getting to know her more. :)
All in all a very good night, though some bits were easier that others. Hopefully we'll get a chance to chat again soon. I'm enjoying this quite a great deal. Enjoying it but scared by it too. Thats a combination of feelings that I'm not used to.
Random side note: the internet and cable TV are broken at my house. I am not pleased. The earliest it gets fixed is Monday. Likely Tuesday or Wednesday. I am mildly perturbed.
Enjoy these fun links.
213 Things Skippy Can't Do
End of the World (Note: Very large but funny file)
Alright, time to go take pretty pictures and pretend to work.
Jake Bullet
First, the Poet has joined me at work and we're going to take some fun pictures fascinating things at my night job. I want to take up photography so she's very very kindly offered to teach me some of the basics of composition and lighting and whatnot. I probably won't end up taking anything useful, but atleast I might learn one or two things.
Secondly, I'm going to get CPR and first aid certified by a kinky nurse tomorrow. Good times will likely be had by all. Though the odds of this are very very low, I have hopes of some sort of white latex nurses outfit.
Thirdly, I will infact be going back to see a doctor about my foot next Wednesday. When I related the story to my mother (the Mom) she found it very amusing, but that's because I was going for a cute and amusing story when I told her. She let me know that many of her patients (male and female) just won't see male doctors because they move too fast and impersonally. Which makes sense because that whole moving too fast (along his torture tools from the inqusition) were what freaked me out. So yeah, not looking forward to that but the Poet will come along and come to the room and to be honest I don't really have a choice about the matter. Some combination of Jonathan, the Poet, and Siren will kick my ass if I don't go. Atleast its a female doctor. Maybe I'll get a lollipop afterwards.
Fourth, I got to talk most of the night away with Siren last night. And it was really great, also very difficult, very much a good series of conversations, very new and very scary. It was quite the conversation. Because I like lists and its easier to form my thoughts that way, I'll share some of the highlites of things which happened. I am not sharing any of it because some of its private and just not for public consumption. Plus those things would make me blush like a little school girl and that's just not the image I'm going for right now. So enjoy the list about our conversations.
-She won't let me push her away or deflect her questions with humour.
-She is very persuasive.
-Things which embarrass me, she finds often adorable and/or cute.
-Asking for things is very, very hard.
-There are atleast 3 habits, which I have, that are going to suck to try to get rid of (Punishing myself for things, allowing myself to "need" things, trusting others to worry about other things).
-The word "yeah" needs to rapidly leave my vocabulary.
-Next week is going to be very interesting.
-She can read me like a book despite my best attempts to be mysterious.
-We both like alot of the same things.
-I *love* talking to her and getting to know her more. :)
All in all a very good night, though some bits were easier that others. Hopefully we'll get a chance to chat again soon. I'm enjoying this quite a great deal. Enjoying it but scared by it too. Thats a combination of feelings that I'm not used to.
Random side note: the internet and cable TV are broken at my house. I am not pleased. The earliest it gets fixed is Monday. Likely Tuesday or Wednesday. I am mildly perturbed.
Enjoy these fun links.
213 Things Skippy Can't Do
End of the World (Note: Very large but funny file)
Alright, time to go take pretty pictures and pretend to work.
Jake Bullet
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
I guess I will have my toe taken care of
Well, I guess I kind of *have* to make a new appointment tomorrow to have my toe looked at. Even though I don't want to, I'm going to do it because its important and because I was told I had to. And anyone who can guess who said I had to wins a prize. Go ahead, take a guess. Okay, well, if you answered Siren, Jonathan and the Poet, you're right. In that order. Siren said I had to and I wasn't allowed to go and then leave without it being taken care of. And while I hate going, I like that she cares about me enough to make me go. It makes me blush and feel kinda special. And she said I'm not allowed to try to handle it on my own because Its too infected and bad and messed up for me to do. Stupid doctors.
I also called Jonathan and vented to him about my day, because it sort of sucked. And he also told me that I had to go. And the Poet told me I should go too. So everybody seems to be in agreement.
Today brought up a bad habit I have. I didn't go. And I didn't know how Siren would react. And so I reverted to my habit of assuming that she would be mad at me. I assume when I don't know how people are going to react, that they'll be mad. And I assume that people are still mad even if they say they aren't. And its a shitty habit. And there isn't much I can do about it. And I always worry about being a bother. Jonathans just about the only person I can call and have an emotionally significant conversation with and not feel like I'm bothering him and i think thats because we've known each other so long and because so often we let the other vent on us or use us as a sounding board. But anyway.
I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow morning. With a female doctor. And hopefully just get this done with.
ALright, time to go read up on Bush's SC announcement.
Jake Bullet.
I also called Jonathan and vented to him about my day, because it sort of sucked. And he also told me that I had to go. And the Poet told me I should go too. So everybody seems to be in agreement.
Today brought up a bad habit I have. I didn't go. And I didn't know how Siren would react. And so I reverted to my habit of assuming that she would be mad at me. I assume when I don't know how people are going to react, that they'll be mad. And I assume that people are still mad even if they say they aren't. And its a shitty habit. And there isn't much I can do about it. And I always worry about being a bother. Jonathans just about the only person I can call and have an emotionally significant conversation with and not feel like I'm bothering him and i think thats because we've known each other so long and because so often we let the other vent on us or use us as a sounding board. But anyway.
I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow morning. With a female doctor. And hopefully just get this done with.
ALright, time to go read up on Bush's SC announcement.
Jake Bullet.
2 themes for today. Getting to talk to Siren. And visiting the doctor today.
So Siren. Wow, it was simply frigging great. And rather than blather on for 10 pages, I'll just give some highlites.
It wasn't very smart to be scared of talking to her.
She's smarter than me.
She can already see thru alot of my tricks.
She doesn't let things slide.
She askes fun but tough questions.
She is a really great writer.
She and I seem to share alot of the same ideas.
And, She makes me feel special.
Yes, that went quite well. Here's what went....well, less well.
I had an appointment to have this toenail fixed today. And I didn't want to go. Because it was with a male doctor who I had never seen and because I was scared and because I knew for a fact that it would hurt. But, I made the appointment and went. I filled out all the stupid forms (with the Poet there, trying to be reassuring, but I was kind of pushing her away) and fidgetted in the office. Then I went into the actual room and sat down (keeping my shoe on) until the doctor showed up. He walked in without even looking at the chart and didn't have the whole doctor way of acting. And he just had me take off my shoe and he said "yep, that needs to be fixed, I'll be back in a second". It was at this point that i noticed two things on his desk. One, what looked like a mini bone saw that was covered in dust. That was bad enough, but them there was the jar that was filled with like 3 scalpels and a bunch of sets of pliers and some other very frightening looking metal tools. All inside this jar of pink liquid. That freaked me out.
Well, he came back caring a needle and pulled the cap off as soon as he sat down. I said stopped and asked if we could discuss some other way of fixing things that didn't involve needles or scalpels. Well, he looked at me like that was the stupidiest thing he ever heard and said there weren't any other options. Well, excuse me for asking. I don't do medical play.
He asked if I wanted to do it, so I sat there for about 45 seconds swearing and thinking and I said yes, so he put his gloves on and then was getting ready to stab me in the foot with the needle. I should point out that he lied to me because he said it was novacaine and I know it wasn't. And just before he poked me, I told him to stop and that I couldn't do it, he said fine, recapped his needle and tossed in the red box and I put on my shoe and walked out.
The Poet said I was stupid for doing that and I should have let her go in with me. And so we just left and I didn't reschuedle. And I came up with a great idea about how I'm going to take care of this. Its patented Jake Bullet style. And its really great. I'm just going to let it fix itself. I'm going to actively ignore the problem and hope that it goes away on its own. And I'm not letting anyone cut open my foot. And I am never ever going back to that doctor ever again. Hopefully that will work out better that letting that evil, horrid sadist near my foot. I'll bet it wasn't even a painkiller in the needle. It was probably just salt water to make it burn more. And I don't care if I'm being irrational.
I'm gonna go chillax for awhile. I'm sure I'll have better stories tomorrow.
Jake Bullet.
So Siren. Wow, it was simply frigging great. And rather than blather on for 10 pages, I'll just give some highlites.
It wasn't very smart to be scared of talking to her.
She's smarter than me.
She can already see thru alot of my tricks.
She doesn't let things slide.
She askes fun but tough questions.
She is a really great writer.
She and I seem to share alot of the same ideas.
And, She makes me feel special.
Yes, that went quite well. Here's what went....well, less well.
I had an appointment to have this toenail fixed today. And I didn't want to go. Because it was with a male doctor who I had never seen and because I was scared and because I knew for a fact that it would hurt. But, I made the appointment and went. I filled out all the stupid forms (with the Poet there, trying to be reassuring, but I was kind of pushing her away) and fidgetted in the office. Then I went into the actual room and sat down (keeping my shoe on) until the doctor showed up. He walked in without even looking at the chart and didn't have the whole doctor way of acting. And he just had me take off my shoe and he said "yep, that needs to be fixed, I'll be back in a second". It was at this point that i noticed two things on his desk. One, what looked like a mini bone saw that was covered in dust. That was bad enough, but them there was the jar that was filled with like 3 scalpels and a bunch of sets of pliers and some other very frightening looking metal tools. All inside this jar of pink liquid. That freaked me out.
Well, he came back caring a needle and pulled the cap off as soon as he sat down. I said stopped and asked if we could discuss some other way of fixing things that didn't involve needles or scalpels. Well, he looked at me like that was the stupidiest thing he ever heard and said there weren't any other options. Well, excuse me for asking. I don't do medical play.
He asked if I wanted to do it, so I sat there for about 45 seconds swearing and thinking and I said yes, so he put his gloves on and then was getting ready to stab me in the foot with the needle. I should point out that he lied to me because he said it was novacaine and I know it wasn't. And just before he poked me, I told him to stop and that I couldn't do it, he said fine, recapped his needle and tossed in the red box and I put on my shoe and walked out.
The Poet said I was stupid for doing that and I should have let her go in with me. And so we just left and I didn't reschuedle. And I came up with a great idea about how I'm going to take care of this. Its patented Jake Bullet style. And its really great. I'm just going to let it fix itself. I'm going to actively ignore the problem and hope that it goes away on its own. And I'm not letting anyone cut open my foot. And I am never ever going back to that doctor ever again. Hopefully that will work out better that letting that evil, horrid sadist near my foot. I'll bet it wasn't even a painkiller in the needle. It was probably just salt water to make it burn more. And I don't care if I'm being irrational.
I'm gonna go chillax for awhile. I'm sure I'll have better stories tomorrow.
Jake Bullet.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
How did Monday night go y'all ask? Well, it was scary and exciting because Siren and I agreed to talk on the phone for the first time ever. And I was deeply scared. But it was all good
How good? Lets put it this way. Siren called me around 9:30-10ish. Then we talked till 11:45 when I realized I was late for work and had to take off and pretend to work. Well, fortunately....I went with the go big theme and asked if I could call her back around 12:15am. And she said yes, so I *ran* as fast as I could (while still doing a quality job) thru my start of the night duties. Then called her back around 12:20. We finally hung up around 6am. We talked the whole night away.
You tell me how it went. I promise I'll post about the talk very soon, but right now I must relax for 10 minutes, find my snazziest looking (crimson and black) clothes, put them in the laundry, get a shower, get a haircut and go do a work thing. Then I have to go to bed. And at some point today (read around 10am, because that's a little after they open and it'll be hard to forget), I must remember to make a doctors appointment to take care of my minor medical problem. And then, I have to actually *go* to the appointment. I hate doctors.
Random thought. The minor medical problem is a severely ingrown toenail. Its not an STD (thank you Poet for pointing out that I made it sound like i had the clap). It will be painful to take care of. But once its taken care of.....I'm going to get myself a lollipop.
Till later y'all.
Jake Bullet
How good? Lets put it this way. Siren called me around 9:30-10ish. Then we talked till 11:45 when I realized I was late for work and had to take off and pretend to work. Well, fortunately....I went with the go big theme and asked if I could call her back around 12:15am. And she said yes, so I *ran* as fast as I could (while still doing a quality job) thru my start of the night duties. Then called her back around 12:20. We finally hung up around 6am. We talked the whole night away.
You tell me how it went. I promise I'll post about the talk very soon, but right now I must relax for 10 minutes, find my snazziest looking (crimson and black) clothes, put them in the laundry, get a shower, get a haircut and go do a work thing. Then I have to go to bed. And at some point today (read around 10am, because that's a little after they open and it'll be hard to forget), I must remember to make a doctors appointment to take care of my minor medical problem. And then, I have to actually *go* to the appointment. I hate doctors.
Random thought. The minor medical problem is a severely ingrown toenail. Its not an STD (thank you Poet for pointing out that I made it sound like i had the clap). It will be painful to take care of. But once its taken care of.....I'm going to get myself a lollipop.
Till later y'all.
Jake Bullet
Sunday, July 17, 2005
risks sometimes work
I think that lately life has been trying to teach me a lesson. And its been trying to teach me that trying new things, trying scary things, and taking risks all sometimes work out. I'll know for certain on Monday night, but I'm about 98.3% sure that the risk I took asking someone really special for something that I wanted is going to work out. I got a yes and even though I'm scared of what that yes brings, I'm still happy and excited. So I suppose I'm happy and excited and scared all at the same time. And I'm surprisingly okay with that.
No more details about my great car adventure. Suffice it to say, I was more than slightly annoyed at the end and that it was distasteful and expensive.
I love Jonathan. We ended up spending part of the sporting event walking around and talking. And he has the ability to offer really incredible advice even for situations that he isn't familiar with. We talked (while searching for a darn ATM) about the risk I took and he was part of the reason that I just bit the bullet and took it. That and I remembered the phrase "Go Big or Go Home". And his acceptance of the...well, generally weirdness of my life is refreshing. So are his insights. I really owe him alot. And I get to see him again in a few hours. Only problem is he's gonna tease me about this till Monday. lol
Anyway, I'm sure Monday night will be quite the entry. That is if I manage to not have a heart attack.
Oh, check out Siren's dungeon (July 15th entry). I want to say first....Hot! Second, if you want any interior design help or anyone to help with....safety testing.....let me know. :D
Lata all.
Jake Bullet
No more details about my great car adventure. Suffice it to say, I was more than slightly annoyed at the end and that it was distasteful and expensive.
I love Jonathan. We ended up spending part of the sporting event walking around and talking. And he has the ability to offer really incredible advice even for situations that he isn't familiar with. We talked (while searching for a darn ATM) about the risk I took and he was part of the reason that I just bit the bullet and took it. That and I remembered the phrase "Go Big or Go Home". And his acceptance of the...well, generally weirdness of my life is refreshing. So are his insights. I really owe him alot. And I get to see him again in a few hours. Only problem is he's gonna tease me about this till Monday. lol
Anyway, I'm sure Monday night will be quite the entry. That is if I manage to not have a heart attack.
Oh, check out Siren's dungeon (July 15th entry). I want to say first....Hot! Second, if you want any interior design help or anyone to help with....safety testing.....let me know. :D
Lata all.
Jake Bullet
Friday, July 15, 2005
Mildly annoyed
I'm mildly annoyed and without a car right now, so I figured now was as good a time as any to post here. Enjoy in good health.
My car is gone. So is every other car on the block. And every car on the blocks I can see from my house. I'm peeved. You see, I live in a slightly larger than average city and I also happen to live very close to college thats here. Its very nice because I can easily walk to class and work. However, for the past month I've been using my parents car to commute between various places and its been very nice to have a car. So last night, I parked my car where I always park it. In front on my house. And when I left the house to drive to various and sundry places this morning, my car was gone.
See, the local city councilman was elected by promising the voters that he would 'crack down' on the students. Part of his crackdown is to scheudle street sweeping at times where the maximum number of student owned cars will be parked in the area. Then the city tows them all and charged me for it. Plus a citation for parking in the wrong place during the 10 hour street sweeping window. This means that less and less students are willing to risk parking (legally) on he street, that the city rakes in money from people who generally can't afford towing fees and whatnot (the students) and the councilman gets to say "I'm keeping the city clean and keeping my campaign promises". Isn't local government great??
Now, this isn't what I'd call fair, but what really takes the cake is this. There are no signs. Let me repeat that as it bears repeating. THERE ARE NO SIGNS! I walked up and down this block and several others looking for a note, a sign, or something saying "hey, you can't park here today". And theres nothing. And so, I along with many of my fellow students will be shelling out quite a bit of cash and go thru more than a little hassle to get my car back. I'm very peeved. I was supposed to go take care of errands and whatnot. Now, I have to go try to find a friend who can drive me to the tow lot and then pay the money to get the car back.
I'm mildly annoyed today.
Jake Bullet
My car is gone. So is every other car on the block. And every car on the blocks I can see from my house. I'm peeved. You see, I live in a slightly larger than average city and I also happen to live very close to college thats here. Its very nice because I can easily walk to class and work. However, for the past month I've been using my parents car to commute between various places and its been very nice to have a car. So last night, I parked my car where I always park it. In front on my house. And when I left the house to drive to various and sundry places this morning, my car was gone.
See, the local city councilman was elected by promising the voters that he would 'crack down' on the students. Part of his crackdown is to scheudle street sweeping at times where the maximum number of student owned cars will be parked in the area. Then the city tows them all and charged me for it. Plus a citation for parking in the wrong place during the 10 hour street sweeping window. This means that less and less students are willing to risk parking (legally) on he street, that the city rakes in money from people who generally can't afford towing fees and whatnot (the students) and the councilman gets to say "I'm keeping the city clean and keeping my campaign promises". Isn't local government great??
Now, this isn't what I'd call fair, but what really takes the cake is this. There are no signs. Let me repeat that as it bears repeating. THERE ARE NO SIGNS! I walked up and down this block and several others looking for a note, a sign, or something saying "hey, you can't park here today". And theres nothing. And so, I along with many of my fellow students will be shelling out quite a bit of cash and go thru more than a little hassle to get my car back. I'm very peeved. I was supposed to go take care of errands and whatnot. Now, I have to go try to find a friend who can drive me to the tow lot and then pay the money to get the car back.
I'm mildly annoyed today.
Jake Bullet
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Lunch with the Poet today was dandy, however we ended up getting Thai rather than Middle Eastern, which was fine by me. Then there was a short nap taken by me. Then dinner which, to be honest, I was pretty much assuming would go disasteriously.
Well, it went really well. Really really well, I think. Everyone got along, no awkward pauses, no bitter looks, everyone talked and had fun and etc. Food was delicious. The card game was deeply confusing. Let me just say this however. Benji is a flirt.
I mean, I think he's cute and all that good stuff. But he was shaking his package in my face, sitting on my lap, etc. And it was all in good fun, but the problem is....He is so off limits. He and the Poet are hooked up and that's already complex enough. And while I think I would enjoy having sex with him, its simply not going to happen. And flirting is fun, but the very direct, "I think you're hot" type stuff....Well its new to me and its slightly uncomfortable. Because he is so very direct and because he is also so very off limits to me and partially because I don't know him very well. I should note, for anyone who may have flirted with me recently, that I really enjoy it and its only with Benji that things are *slightly* uncomfortable. Trust me, if you make me blush, I'm happy with it.
Tomorrow, Benji, Mrs. Benji, the Poet and I will be hitting the munch and that should be entertaining for all involved.
Anyway, tomorrow I plan to go into work and actually get some stuff done. And then munch time. And possibly gay bars afterwards. Hopefully we can take Benji and his wife to the gay bars because that would just be good fun. Okay, off to bed, I want to try to get an early start to tomorrow. If I'm lucky, I'll get a chance to talk to Siren some more. :)
Oh yes, on Friday, I'm heading to a sporting event with Andrew, Jonathan, about 8 school/work friends and the Poet. Oh yeah, its gonna be diverse. And I get to give Jonathan a present. Lata y'all.
Jake Bullet
Well, it went really well. Really really well, I think. Everyone got along, no awkward pauses, no bitter looks, everyone talked and had fun and etc. Food was delicious. The card game was deeply confusing. Let me just say this however. Benji is a flirt.
I mean, I think he's cute and all that good stuff. But he was shaking his package in my face, sitting on my lap, etc. And it was all in good fun, but the problem is....He is so off limits. He and the Poet are hooked up and that's already complex enough. And while I think I would enjoy having sex with him, its simply not going to happen. And flirting is fun, but the very direct, "I think you're hot" type stuff....Well its new to me and its slightly uncomfortable. Because he is so very direct and because he is also so very off limits to me and partially because I don't know him very well. I should note, for anyone who may have flirted with me recently, that I really enjoy it and its only with Benji that things are *slightly* uncomfortable. Trust me, if you make me blush, I'm happy with it.
Tomorrow, Benji, Mrs. Benji, the Poet and I will be hitting the munch and that should be entertaining for all involved.
Anyway, tomorrow I plan to go into work and actually get some stuff done. And then munch time. And possibly gay bars afterwards. Hopefully we can take Benji and his wife to the gay bars because that would just be good fun. Okay, off to bed, I want to try to get an early start to tomorrow. If I'm lucky, I'll get a chance to talk to Siren some more. :)
Oh yes, on Friday, I'm heading to a sporting event with Andrew, Jonathan, about 8 school/work friends and the Poet. Oh yeah, its gonna be diverse. And I get to give Jonathan a present. Lata y'all.
Jake Bullet
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
vsp
Very short post.
Well I had hoped that today would be a fun, relaxing and enjoyable day. And it was....it really really was. A very great day indeed. Relaxing and enjoyable on many, many levels. And tomorrow, the Poet and I get to hang out much of the day and then dinner with her boy toy. But now I need to sleep. Till tomorrow :)
Oh before I forget. Some ciggerettes practically fell into my lap last night while at work, and while I was very tempted to have one, I resisted the urge. They are now in a trash can. So its been....well, weeks since I've had one....and I'm very glad for that. Good night.
Jake Bullet
Well I had hoped that today would be a fun, relaxing and enjoyable day. And it was....it really really was. A very great day indeed. Relaxing and enjoyable on many, many levels. And tomorrow, the Poet and I get to hang out much of the day and then dinner with her boy toy. But now I need to sleep. Till tomorrow :)
Oh before I forget. Some ciggerettes practically fell into my lap last night while at work, and while I was very tempted to have one, I resisted the urge. They are now in a trash can. So its been....well, weeks since I've had one....and I'm very glad for that. Good night.
Jake Bullet
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
I found a neat quiz
Its me again, Jake Bullet.
I "borrowed" this quiz from sparrow's blog. Look below to see results. Usually, these little quizzes are an amusing diversion, but not much else. This one was moderately accurate. The term "bottom switch" kind of intrigues me. And the percentages were fairly accurate too (but I'd say closer to 30% top and 70% submissive). I'd love to be able to periodically satisfy my toppish urges, but most of the time I'd rather be the Submissive. I'd rather be mind-fucked and spanked and have evil things done to me. Some of the time, do I feel the urge to top, but not most of the time. I mean, I think that with a little more work, I could do a real scene as a Top, but I have no desire to be someone's Master. Someone was joking after I told them I switched and called me Master Jake and I flipped a little because I really couldn't be a Master. A fun Top? Yeah. An overly silly Top? Probably. A Master? Well, that's just not a hat I want to wear anytime soon.
Maybe I'm putting too much thought into a quiz on the net. Oh well, such is life.
Moving along. I have a new sick and twisted obsession. Aqua. Yes Aqua, that pop-ish little Norweginian group that did Barbie Girl. I love there music. And whats great is I've found Barbie Girl in 4 languages which is just hilarious to me. German is the best. I mean the song is so bouncy and happy, but sung in this angry German voice. It cracks me up everytime. I love unusual music.
After the weekend from hell, I'm looking forward to a few days off. I have many plans. First I plan to sleep. Sleep is good and important. Second, I am really looking forward to Thursdays munch. Maybe I can convince the Poet and Andrew to hit one of the gay bars after. Okay, well, not convince, but rather just say "hey lets go" and they'll be up for it. And I'm taking the gray bandana to the munch and gay bar either way. Only question is which side to wear it on.
Wednesday will be a few interesting meals. First, The Poet and I are hitting a middle eastern restaurant for lunch. Fortunately the menu has some suggestions for those new to Middle Eastern food. Like me. Should be good times. Plus maybe I can con her into coming to an amazing used bookstore nearby. Later that day, she and I will be heading to her boyfriends house for dinner. Dinner will include me, the Poet, Benji (boyfriend) and Mrs. Benji (wife). Oh yeah, its gonna be interesting.
Hopefully on Tuesday I'll have a chance to just relax and talk to some people online. Thats something I'm looking forward to. And I think I'm going to crank call Jonathan at work. Oh man, he'd kill me for that, but maybe the little present I got him will save me a killing. The present? A stuffed sheep. Well, a beanie baby stuffed sheep being....romanced....by someone. Its an old thing with me and Jonathan to talk about these things and I know he'll get a laugh.
Anyway, it should be an interesting week. And the time off will be nice. I just need to remember to call the doctor to take care of a minor problem that I can't ignore anymore. I loathe doctors. I mean, given the choice between visiting a real doctor or having a car drive over my foot....I'd have to think about it....And I might take the car. Funny thing is, The Mom and The Dad and The Grandfather are all doctors. So usually I can get by simply by asking The Mom or The Dad about any problems. Though the past few weeks I've been more likely to ask The Mom, because I found out that The Dad was famous for writing limericks during med school lectures. Oh yeah, that fills me with confidence. But I can't put this off anymore and so I'm making a phone call tomorrow. Its minor but guaranteed to be painful in an unhappy way.
Oh yes. For those of you in need of a good laugh go play this game. Its called Name That Beard and its hilarious. My favorite is number 5. Just go play, it'll give ya a laugh.
Jake Bullet
I "borrowed" this quiz from sparrow's blog. Look below to see results. Usually, these little quizzes are an amusing diversion, but not much else. This one was moderately accurate. The term "bottom switch" kind of intrigues me. And the percentages were fairly accurate too (but I'd say closer to 30% top and 70% submissive). I'd love to be able to periodically satisfy my toppish urges, but most of the time I'd rather be the Submissive. I'd rather be mind-fucked and spanked and have evil things done to me. Some of the time, do I feel the urge to top, but not most of the time. I mean, I think that with a little more work, I could do a real scene as a Top, but I have no desire to be someone's Master. Someone was joking after I told them I switched and called me Master Jake and I flipped a little because I really couldn't be a Master. A fun Top? Yeah. An overly silly Top? Probably. A Master? Well, that's just not a hat I want to wear anytime soon.
Maybe I'm putting too much thought into a quiz on the net. Oh well, such is life.
Moving along. I have a new sick and twisted obsession. Aqua. Yes Aqua, that pop-ish little Norweginian group that did Barbie Girl. I love there music. And whats great is I've found Barbie Girl in 4 languages which is just hilarious to me. German is the best. I mean the song is so bouncy and happy, but sung in this angry German voice. It cracks me up everytime. I love unusual music.
After the weekend from hell, I'm looking forward to a few days off. I have many plans. First I plan to sleep. Sleep is good and important. Second, I am really looking forward to Thursdays munch. Maybe I can convince the Poet and Andrew to hit one of the gay bars after. Okay, well, not convince, but rather just say "hey lets go" and they'll be up for it. And I'm taking the gray bandana to the munch and gay bar either way. Only question is which side to wear it on.
Wednesday will be a few interesting meals. First, The Poet and I are hitting a middle eastern restaurant for lunch. Fortunately the menu has some suggestions for those new to Middle Eastern food. Like me. Should be good times. Plus maybe I can con her into coming to an amazing used bookstore nearby. Later that day, she and I will be heading to her boyfriends house for dinner. Dinner will include me, the Poet, Benji (boyfriend) and Mrs. Benji (wife). Oh yeah, its gonna be interesting.
Hopefully on Tuesday I'll have a chance to just relax and talk to some people online. Thats something I'm looking forward to. And I think I'm going to crank call Jonathan at work. Oh man, he'd kill me for that, but maybe the little present I got him will save me a killing. The present? A stuffed sheep. Well, a beanie baby stuffed sheep being....romanced....by someone. Its an old thing with me and Jonathan to talk about these things and I know he'll get a laugh.
Anyway, it should be an interesting week. And the time off will be nice. I just need to remember to call the doctor to take care of a minor problem that I can't ignore anymore. I loathe doctors. I mean, given the choice between visiting a real doctor or having a car drive over my foot....I'd have to think about it....And I might take the car. Funny thing is, The Mom and The Dad and The Grandfather are all doctors. So usually I can get by simply by asking The Mom or The Dad about any problems. Though the past few weeks I've been more likely to ask The Mom, because I found out that The Dad was famous for writing limericks during med school lectures. Oh yeah, that fills me with confidence. But I can't put this off anymore and so I'm making a phone call tomorrow. Its minor but guaranteed to be painful in an unhappy way.
Oh yes. For those of you in need of a good laugh go play this game. Its called Name That Beard and its hilarious. My favorite is number 5. Just go play, it'll give ya a laugh.
Jake Bullet
| Bottom Switch You are 36% Dominant and 51% Submissive! |
| You have some dominant tendencies, but deep down, you're submissive. You enjoy the feel of pain more than you like to give it. Bondage is not unfamiliar to you, and you know a few 'tricks' yourself. I bet you're a brat huh? Just daring your partner to be aggressive... and pretending you don't like it! |
 |
My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Master or Slave? Test written by undue_influence on Ok Cupid |
Monday, July 11, 2005
Talking to a Siren
Well, today was generally a good day. A delightfully good day in many ways.
First, and least important, my meeting today went well. Instead of being the 6 hour meeting from the 7th circle of the 10th level of Hades, it was only 2 hours. And my thing got taken care of fairly easily. And in taking care of my thing, I got to bring humor and a light hearted whimsy to an otherwise dry and boring meeting. Andrew and I have about 37 things to work on this coming week. But, atleast the pay is lousy. lol
Second, I only have 4 hours till I can sleep. I've been up for around 21 hours right now and this is kinda the hardest point. But soon, the Poet and her date Benji will appear at the front door and we'll watch the sun rise. Well, I'll watch the sun whilst (double bonus points for using whilst) they make out like horny teenagers on the roof. Oh well, such is my life.
Jonathan and I talked for about 20 minutes today, an occurrence that I consider too rare. Even though on average we get to have a more drawn out talk (read 15+ minutes) about every 5 days. And I was, as I prone to, being a smartass. And he was dishing it right back and I made some comment and so he said "I swear I'm going to hit you....and not in a good way". And I just about died from laughter. (Quick side note: See, Jonathan knows about my BDSM habits. But generally we do not discuss BDSM. Because he isn't into it at all and its weird when we do. Once in awhile if I have a moral conundrum related to BDSM, I can ask him if I avoid salacious details.) So many people these days have to add the qualifier "and not in a good way" when they remark that they're going to slap me for something. And now Jonathan did it and it just tickled me pink. We shared a good laugh over it.
Okay, now the fun part. I got to talk to Siren today. For 3 hours. And the time passed in about 2 seconds for me, it was only after about 2.5 hours that I remembered I had to eat and that I promised to shop with the Poet. It was such a great conversation, we were really clicking and everything flowed and we seem to be on the same wavelength about so many things. And it was really one of the best conversations I've had in along time, very natural feeling, fluidic and comfortable. And a small part of the conversation was about my caffeine intake habits. Which I was not looking forward to because there was no possible way that conversation could have gone well....I thought.
I was wrong. I ended up feeling better after the talk rather than worse as I had presumed. I very briefly got scolded, which I deserved because 1800 migs is just wrong on so many levels and then we talked about what would be a healthier level which would jive with how I generally live my life. And when I was worried about the amount she suggested, instead of things turning bad, we stopped and talked about why I sometimes feel the need to binge on caffeine and how to avoid that. And I realized that if I simply planned better, I would have more study time which would mean I could avoid cramming. And she was really willing to understand that sometimes, in my life with my job, things come up that I have no realistic way to gear up for or plan for and that at those times I just need to kick it into high gear with a little extra caffeine.
And instead of feeling like I was bad for using so much before, or feeling like she was disappointed in me or feeling like the suggestion she had wasn't going to work, I honestly felt good about the talk. Really good actually. And that's what I would call a new feeling. Generally in my life, those sorts of talks with other people leave me feeling down or upset or somehow less than. And she isn't my top or Domme, we're just close friends right now and I really felt better on alot of levels. I think we're both hoping that it moves into more than good friends, but she didn't try and force me to do things her way without any concern for how it was going to affect other parts of my life. She didn't assume that just because she was other peoples Mistress that she was mine, she was just being a really great friend. We had a calm conversation about what would be better and I was never ordered to do anything, its just a suggestion of hers. No rules, or consequences or trying to make it more than it needs to be. And it was something we jointly agreed to. Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of this, but it was special to me and its my blog so I get to write about what I want.
Oh yeah, so a cute transvestite rang my doorbell later this afternoon right before the Poet and I went shopping. She was door knocking for an organization opposed to constitutional amendments which define marriage as one man and one woman. And having done lots of door knocks and similar activities, I was mentally cringing at the lack of smoothness of her delivery. But obviously I signed and checked the "sure I'll volunteer" box. Then while I was filling in various info boxes, I asked how long she had been door knocking. I was her 3rd house where someone answered. So I offered a few pointers which she seemed very happy to get. A nice exchange to be sure. The the Poet and I went shopping and talked about her boy toy for an hour.
Yeah, today was a very good day. Only downside was spending much of it watching where Hurricane Dennis was moving and hoping that it would simply stop and evaporate. But people I care about it are alright, so I'm decidedly relieved.
Tonights quote of the night comes from Siren. We were discussing CBT (never done it) and I said I'd try almost anything twice so long as I knew I wouldn't end up broken and then she made this comment about boy bits. "They are remarkably durable" she says. OMG! Durable! I should be running away and deeply afraid, but yet, I'm intrigued.
Okay, time to lie down a little before the Poet and her sexy, flirty boy toy show up.
Jake Bullet
First, and least important, my meeting today went well. Instead of being the 6 hour meeting from the 7th circle of the 10th level of Hades, it was only 2 hours. And my thing got taken care of fairly easily. And in taking care of my thing, I got to bring humor and a light hearted whimsy to an otherwise dry and boring meeting. Andrew and I have about 37 things to work on this coming week. But, atleast the pay is lousy. lol
Second, I only have 4 hours till I can sleep. I've been up for around 21 hours right now and this is kinda the hardest point. But soon, the Poet and her date Benji will appear at the front door and we'll watch the sun rise. Well, I'll watch the sun whilst (double bonus points for using whilst) they make out like horny teenagers on the roof. Oh well, such is my life.
Jonathan and I talked for about 20 minutes today, an occurrence that I consider too rare. Even though on average we get to have a more drawn out talk (read 15+ minutes) about every 5 days. And I was, as I prone to, being a smartass. And he was dishing it right back and I made some comment and so he said "I swear I'm going to hit you....and not in a good way". And I just about died from laughter. (Quick side note: See, Jonathan knows about my BDSM habits. But generally we do not discuss BDSM. Because he isn't into it at all and its weird when we do. Once in awhile if I have a moral conundrum related to BDSM, I can ask him if I avoid salacious details.) So many people these days have to add the qualifier "and not in a good way" when they remark that they're going to slap me for something. And now Jonathan did it and it just tickled me pink. We shared a good laugh over it.
Okay, now the fun part. I got to talk to Siren today. For 3 hours. And the time passed in about 2 seconds for me, it was only after about 2.5 hours that I remembered I had to eat and that I promised to shop with the Poet. It was such a great conversation, we were really clicking and everything flowed and we seem to be on the same wavelength about so many things. And it was really one of the best conversations I've had in along time, very natural feeling, fluidic and comfortable. And a small part of the conversation was about my caffeine intake habits. Which I was not looking forward to because there was no possible way that conversation could have gone well....I thought.
I was wrong. I ended up feeling better after the talk rather than worse as I had presumed. I very briefly got scolded, which I deserved because 1800 migs is just wrong on so many levels and then we talked about what would be a healthier level which would jive with how I generally live my life. And when I was worried about the amount she suggested, instead of things turning bad, we stopped and talked about why I sometimes feel the need to binge on caffeine and how to avoid that. And I realized that if I simply planned better, I would have more study time which would mean I could avoid cramming. And she was really willing to understand that sometimes, in my life with my job, things come up that I have no realistic way to gear up for or plan for and that at those times I just need to kick it into high gear with a little extra caffeine.
And instead of feeling like I was bad for using so much before, or feeling like she was disappointed in me or feeling like the suggestion she had wasn't going to work, I honestly felt good about the talk. Really good actually. And that's what I would call a new feeling. Generally in my life, those sorts of talks with other people leave me feeling down or upset or somehow less than. And she isn't my top or Domme, we're just close friends right now and I really felt better on alot of levels. I think we're both hoping that it moves into more than good friends, but she didn't try and force me to do things her way without any concern for how it was going to affect other parts of my life. She didn't assume that just because she was other peoples Mistress that she was mine, she was just being a really great friend. We had a calm conversation about what would be better and I was never ordered to do anything, its just a suggestion of hers. No rules, or consequences or trying to make it more than it needs to be. And it was something we jointly agreed to. Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of this, but it was special to me and its my blog so I get to write about what I want.
Oh yeah, so a cute transvestite rang my doorbell later this afternoon right before the Poet and I went shopping. She was door knocking for an organization opposed to constitutional amendments which define marriage as one man and one woman. And having done lots of door knocks and similar activities, I was mentally cringing at the lack of smoothness of her delivery. But obviously I signed and checked the "sure I'll volunteer" box. Then while I was filling in various info boxes, I asked how long she had been door knocking. I was her 3rd house where someone answered. So I offered a few pointers which she seemed very happy to get. A nice exchange to be sure. The the Poet and I went shopping and talked about her boy toy for an hour.
Yeah, today was a very good day. Only downside was spending much of it watching where Hurricane Dennis was moving and hoping that it would simply stop and evaporate. But people I care about it are alright, so I'm decidedly relieved.
Tonights quote of the night comes from Siren. We were discussing CBT (never done it) and I said I'd try almost anything twice so long as I knew I wouldn't end up broken and then she made this comment about boy bits. "They are remarkably durable" she says. OMG! Durable! I should be running away and deeply afraid, but yet, I'm intrigued.
Okay, time to lie down a little before the Poet and her sexy, flirty boy toy show up.
Jake Bullet
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Waxing....How did it come to this
Well, half my shift got taken by someone who needed hours, so its time for a fast entry, then a few hours more sleep. Which is good. A few random items first and then a discussion of waxing with Jill.
I got to have a very pleasant and relaxing conversation with someone right after I got off work this morning. However, next time I talk to her, I get to look forward to a discussion of my caffeine intake habits. Joy of joys. Atleast I don't consume nearly the caffeine that I used to. I'll keep y'all updated.
I'm trying to convince my dad to come to my favorite (low-key) gay bar with me some night. I think eventually he'll go for it, but I think having his son ask him to go have a drink at a gay bar is throwing him slightly for a loop. He's very supportive of gay rights and was mostly fine when I told him I was bisexual, but I guess its a little different when its less of an abstract thing and more directly in front of him. I'll keep y'all updated.
I get to see Jonathan next weekend which will be really great. I miss seeing him and so whenever we can get together I really look forward to it.
Okay, on to today's main attraction. Well, Jill and I got into a conversation about the removal of pubic hair on Thursday and talking about how neither of us has ever waxed. I've waxed my eyebrows, but nothing else. And yes, I can be a manly man and get my eyebrows done. So eventually we wound up deciding to go get waxed one of these days. Together. Which is gonna turn into an adventure in and of itself. Downside is, it'll probably hurt a great deal, but hey, I'll have a new experience and it might be fun. And I'll be hairless. As part of the conversation, I said that while I would totally get my pubes waxed, I was not dipping my balls in hot wax. Sorry, that just simply isn't going to happen. I'll take care those myself.
If you ever want to have a wild time, take a roughly spherical shaped object (like your left nut) that you really really don't want to cut, and try shaving it. Its an adventure in applied geometry and a bit of a rush because one slip and your nickname becomes "Lone Nut Jim".
But Jack and Andrew started chiming in at this point, trying to make up rhymes, with a vaguely Dr. Suess theme, about dipping and waxing balls. Here are some of my favorites quotes from the night :
Jack(sung in a Dr. Suess Manner): Would you dip your balls in chum? Um, no thanks
--
Me, Jake Bullet: I'm sorry, I'm simply not dipping my balls in hot wax. Its a dealbreaker.
--
Jack: Wait, if you had peanut butter and a dog.... I knew where this was going
Jake Bullet: No
Jack: But the dog...
Jake Bullet: NOOOO Jack
--
Oh, and an Andrew quote from several days ago: I have a very efficient colon. I don't know about you, but I didn't need to know that.
There were other funny quotes, but I only had a small cocktail napkin with which to record them on.
Alright, time for about 4 hours of sleep. Wish me luck. Hopefully, I will return victorious in battle.
Jake Bullet
I got to have a very pleasant and relaxing conversation with someone right after I got off work this morning. However, next time I talk to her, I get to look forward to a discussion of my caffeine intake habits. Joy of joys. Atleast I don't consume nearly the caffeine that I used to. I'll keep y'all updated.
I'm trying to convince my dad to come to my favorite (low-key) gay bar with me some night. I think eventually he'll go for it, but I think having his son ask him to go have a drink at a gay bar is throwing him slightly for a loop. He's very supportive of gay rights and was mostly fine when I told him I was bisexual, but I guess its a little different when its less of an abstract thing and more directly in front of him. I'll keep y'all updated.
I get to see Jonathan next weekend which will be really great. I miss seeing him and so whenever we can get together I really look forward to it.
Okay, on to today's main attraction. Well, Jill and I got into a conversation about the removal of pubic hair on Thursday and talking about how neither of us has ever waxed. I've waxed my eyebrows, but nothing else. And yes, I can be a manly man and get my eyebrows done. So eventually we wound up deciding to go get waxed one of these days. Together. Which is gonna turn into an adventure in and of itself. Downside is, it'll probably hurt a great deal, but hey, I'll have a new experience and it might be fun. And I'll be hairless. As part of the conversation, I said that while I would totally get my pubes waxed, I was not dipping my balls in hot wax. Sorry, that just simply isn't going to happen. I'll take care those myself.
If you ever want to have a wild time, take a roughly spherical shaped object (like your left nut) that you really really don't want to cut, and try shaving it. Its an adventure in applied geometry and a bit of a rush because one slip and your nickname becomes "Lone Nut Jim".
But Jack and Andrew started chiming in at this point, trying to make up rhymes, with a vaguely Dr. Suess theme, about dipping and waxing balls. Here are some of my favorites quotes from the night :
Jack(sung in a Dr. Suess Manner): Would you dip your balls in chum? Um, no thanks
--
Me, Jake Bullet: I'm sorry, I'm simply not dipping my balls in hot wax. Its a dealbreaker.
--
Jack: Wait, if you had peanut butter and a dog.... I knew where this was going
Jake Bullet: No
Jack: But the dog...
Jake Bullet: NOOOO Jack
--
Oh, and an Andrew quote from several days ago: I have a very efficient colon. I don't know about you, but I didn't need to know that.
There were other funny quotes, but I only had a small cocktail napkin with which to record them on.
Alright, time for about 4 hours of sleep. Wish me luck. Hopefully, I will return victorious in battle.
Jake Bullet
Saturday, July 09, 2005
A New Rule
My apologies if this sounds a little pissy, but I'm willing to bet several people who read this can relate. But a little backstory first.
One thing in the realm of BDSM that I do better than many new people is observing various rules of etiquette and safety. That's because I want to be respected in the community. I don't want to alienate potential friends/play partners/lovers. And lastly, I have a deep seated fear of very publicly screwing up or hurting someone. So etiquette and safety are big things for me. Safety is everyone's responsibility.
I bought a new toy, my first real flogger from Katana, a local leathersmith who is very well spoken of. Plus he's a hoot to drink with even if we had to agree to disagree during basketball season. He made me a beautiful flogger, made of red and black leather. The handle is branded into this pattern of alternating red and black diamonds and the falls are all perfectly straight, evenly cut, the leather was obviously high quality and I am extremely happy with his work. He brought it to the Thursday munch for me to take ownership of.
The munch has a no toys rule for various very good reasons, one of which is people tend to try to use them if they are there. Well, I brought the flogger in and showed it briefly to the Poet, Jack, Jill and Andrew. All of whom I trust. Later, someone I had never met asked "May I see that?" And I stupidly agreed and handed it over, then turned back to Jill to make a point in our conversation. The moment I turned around, I see this woman using the flogger on a guy wearing a horrendous tie who is over another woman's knee. I'd never met any of them. People were *supposed* to look, feel it, then hand it back and say "who made that?". Now, she was throwing the flogger in a manner which suggested that she had never been on either end of a flogger before and had never seen someone properly use it. I mean, think overly ditzy porn star who thinks everything is funny and just does things without a thought running through the head. The man is doing everything to encourage her to hit harder and hence throw the flogger even more wildly and poorly than she was and the second woman was laughing. Is this okay?
Um, how about fuck no??
Its a crowded, public bar, for gods sake. And its my toy, not yours. Yeah, we have a private room, but shit people, you might hit someone who definitely didn't consent. Or you might mess up my toy in which case I'll kill you with your own shoe. Well, fortunately the group leader put a rapid stop to this just as I was getting up to stop it myself. Who is the one who (rightly) got a little chewed out over this??? Me. Jake. Yeah. Now, I deserved to be reminded of the rule. The leader and I get along great and have known each other for over a year. She was the first person I met, so I didn't really get chewed out, but rather a mini lecture. But it looked bad and I should have known better.
I was incredibly pissed however. I won't even touch something that isn't mine unless I have direct permission. Most of the time at Shibaricon in the vendors area, I would look and if I wanted to touch, I'd ask the vendor. I'll look casually at something in someone's bag and if really interested, very politely ask to see. If they say yes, I hold it, touch it and then hand it back. I don't use it or try to play with it. And I won't even think about using a toy without being taught how first. People get hurt when you assume that its easy to do needleplay or flogging or something. Its nice to be hurt in the happy fun way, but getting a flogger to the head in the middle of a bar when you aren't expecting it is not what I would call a good scene. Call me picky.
So here is the new rule. Unless I know you and I trust you, you may look at but not touch my toys. And no one is using them without saying "hey Jake, may I use this?" Plus, I'm not bring anymore toys to the bar. Yeah, bringing a little rope right after Shibaricon was fun and I miss it, but I understand why. If I want to practice or show stuff off, well, then I'll have people over to my house.
I guess I just really don't understand why people do things like this. Sure, trying new things is great and I understand its easy to be overwhelmed and want to dive right into things after getting a small taste. But there's a time and place. And a method. Just guessing at what looks neat isn't the method. That's how people get hurt. Have someone you know show you how things work. Learn how to do things safely. And be respectful of the people who are teaching you, showing you things and the random bystanders.
Anyway, in other news. Hi, to any new readers. Welcome to the wild world of Jake Bullet.
The Poets back. We got Indian food with Andrew (he didn't like it) and unfortunately left the left-overs in the car for 15 hours after dinner. Which means I didn't get to finish my Chicken Tika Masala. I wanted to but the Poet pretty much shut that down by reminding me of food poisoning. I miss my curry left-overs. Oh well, I guess I'll have to go back to the curry resturant, you talked me into it.
I'm working 30 hours of the next 60 hours. Please kill me.
The Poet has been gracious enough to help me clean my room. In exchange, she and her friend get to sleep over tomorrow while I'm at work. Plus I bought her lunch. A very fair trade in my opinion.
I got to talk to someone I've been wanting to talk to for awhile today. I enjoyed that greatly. And I thank the Poet for waking me up in time to have that conversation.
Alright, well, I must be off, its nearly time to take my flashlight and go point it at various parts of an empty building. Ta ta all. And keep the comments coming.
Jake
One thing in the realm of BDSM that I do better than many new people is observing various rules of etiquette and safety. That's because I want to be respected in the community. I don't want to alienate potential friends/play partners/lovers. And lastly, I have a deep seated fear of very publicly screwing up or hurting someone. So etiquette and safety are big things for me. Safety is everyone's responsibility.
I bought a new toy, my first real flogger from Katana, a local leathersmith who is very well spoken of. Plus he's a hoot to drink with even if we had to agree to disagree during basketball season. He made me a beautiful flogger, made of red and black leather. The handle is branded into this pattern of alternating red and black diamonds and the falls are all perfectly straight, evenly cut, the leather was obviously high quality and I am extremely happy with his work. He brought it to the Thursday munch for me to take ownership of.
The munch has a no toys rule for various very good reasons, one of which is people tend to try to use them if they are there. Well, I brought the flogger in and showed it briefly to the Poet, Jack, Jill and Andrew. All of whom I trust. Later, someone I had never met asked "May I see that?" And I stupidly agreed and handed it over, then turned back to Jill to make a point in our conversation. The moment I turned around, I see this woman using the flogger on a guy wearing a horrendous tie who is over another woman's knee. I'd never met any of them. People were *supposed* to look, feel it, then hand it back and say "who made that?". Now, she was throwing the flogger in a manner which suggested that she had never been on either end of a flogger before and had never seen someone properly use it. I mean, think overly ditzy porn star who thinks everything is funny and just does things without a thought running through the head. The man is doing everything to encourage her to hit harder and hence throw the flogger even more wildly and poorly than she was and the second woman was laughing. Is this okay?
Um, how about fuck no??
Its a crowded, public bar, for gods sake. And its my toy, not yours. Yeah, we have a private room, but shit people, you might hit someone who definitely didn't consent. Or you might mess up my toy in which case I'll kill you with your own shoe. Well, fortunately the group leader put a rapid stop to this just as I was getting up to stop it myself. Who is the one who (rightly) got a little chewed out over this??? Me. Jake. Yeah. Now, I deserved to be reminded of the rule. The leader and I get along great and have known each other for over a year. She was the first person I met, so I didn't really get chewed out, but rather a mini lecture. But it looked bad and I should have known better.
I was incredibly pissed however. I won't even touch something that isn't mine unless I have direct permission. Most of the time at Shibaricon in the vendors area, I would look and if I wanted to touch, I'd ask the vendor. I'll look casually at something in someone's bag and if really interested, very politely ask to see. If they say yes, I hold it, touch it and then hand it back. I don't use it or try to play with it. And I won't even think about using a toy without being taught how first. People get hurt when you assume that its easy to do needleplay or flogging or something. Its nice to be hurt in the happy fun way, but getting a flogger to the head in the middle of a bar when you aren't expecting it is not what I would call a good scene. Call me picky.
So here is the new rule. Unless I know you and I trust you, you may look at but not touch my toys. And no one is using them without saying "hey Jake, may I use this?" Plus, I'm not bring anymore toys to the bar. Yeah, bringing a little rope right after Shibaricon was fun and I miss it, but I understand why. If I want to practice or show stuff off, well, then I'll have people over to my house.
I guess I just really don't understand why people do things like this. Sure, trying new things is great and I understand its easy to be overwhelmed and want to dive right into things after getting a small taste. But there's a time and place. And a method. Just guessing at what looks neat isn't the method. That's how people get hurt. Have someone you know show you how things work. Learn how to do things safely. And be respectful of the people who are teaching you, showing you things and the random bystanders.
Anyway, in other news. Hi, to any new readers. Welcome to the wild world of Jake Bullet.
The Poets back. We got Indian food with Andrew (he didn't like it) and unfortunately left the left-overs in the car for 15 hours after dinner. Which means I didn't get to finish my Chicken Tika Masala. I wanted to but the Poet pretty much shut that down by reminding me of food poisoning. I miss my curry left-overs. Oh well, I guess I'll have to go back to the curry resturant, you talked me into it.
I'm working 30 hours of the next 60 hours. Please kill me.
The Poet has been gracious enough to help me clean my room. In exchange, she and her friend get to sleep over tomorrow while I'm at work. Plus I bought her lunch. A very fair trade in my opinion.
I got to talk to someone I've been wanting to talk to for awhile today. I enjoyed that greatly. And I thank the Poet for waking me up in time to have that conversation.
Alright, well, I must be off, its nearly time to take my flashlight and go point it at various parts of an empty building. Ta ta all. And keep the comments coming.
Jake
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
And the universe keeps spinning
Short entry.
I intended to go into work for 20 minutes today to go to a staff meetings and say "I have nothing to report". Instead I was in for 8 hours doing much work. I have decieded that even though I don't trust my boss, we can still do good things.
I hired Andrew as my assistant. Basically we work together on everything now. Plus, in one job I am his boss and can fire him, in the other, he's my boss and can fire me. Conflict of interest? Well, since he and I have gotten so drunk we can't see straight together at times, and we're really good friends, and he's most qualified to be my assistant we decided to tell anyone worried about conflicts of interest to shove off.
The poet returns tomorrow. She and her boyfriend will be sleeping over. Hence, I must clean my house. Anyone want to clean it for me???
Munch tomorrow, I look forward to it.
Sometimes, like today, I wish I could resume smoking. But them I remember that my clothes, breath and house smell better. I kicked a smokers cough that I had for 4 months. I can kiss cute people without having to constantly chew on mints. I have saved alot of money. And I'm healthier. But still, I really want one.
I am no longer living in two houses. The parents returned, victoriously, from vacation and so I have resumed living in my house.
I got to spend 3 hours on top of the building where I work, talking to Jonathan, looking at the stars from like 1-4am. It was very nice. And we had a good conversation. And he's having a party soon, so that should be fun.
I am currently making enough money to indulge in a fetish that I had to cut down on for years. Buying and reading books. Mmmmmm.....books.
Till later.
Jake
I intended to go into work for 20 minutes today to go to a staff meetings and say "I have nothing to report". Instead I was in for 8 hours doing much work. I have decieded that even though I don't trust my boss, we can still do good things.
I hired Andrew as my assistant. Basically we work together on everything now. Plus, in one job I am his boss and can fire him, in the other, he's my boss and can fire me. Conflict of interest? Well, since he and I have gotten so drunk we can't see straight together at times, and we're really good friends, and he's most qualified to be my assistant we decided to tell anyone worried about conflicts of interest to shove off.
The poet returns tomorrow. She and her boyfriend will be sleeping over. Hence, I must clean my house. Anyone want to clean it for me???
Munch tomorrow, I look forward to it.
Sometimes, like today, I wish I could resume smoking. But them I remember that my clothes, breath and house smell better. I kicked a smokers cough that I had for 4 months. I can kiss cute people without having to constantly chew on mints. I have saved alot of money. And I'm healthier. But still, I really want one.
I am no longer living in two houses. The parents returned, victoriously, from vacation and so I have resumed living in my house.
I got to spend 3 hours on top of the building where I work, talking to Jonathan, looking at the stars from like 1-4am. It was very nice. And we had a good conversation. And he's having a party soon, so that should be fun.
I am currently making enough money to indulge in a fetish that I had to cut down on for years. Buying and reading books. Mmmmmm.....books.
Till later.
Jake
Friday, July 01, 2005
Politics too
Well, I had already planned to make todays post a political one, but now with the recent resignation of a member of the bench, I am going to have to change subjects. For those who haven't heard already, Sandra Day O'Conner, the Supreme Court swing vote and first female member has announced her retirement (after 24 years) effective once the Senate confirms a successor. Now, I could go on and on about good decisions and bad decisions that O'Conner has been a party to, but lets forget that for the time being. I am going to give you all a word of advice. Once Bush announces his nominee, get in touch with you Senators. Let me repeat that as it bears repeating.
Get off your ass, stop whining that politicians never listen and make a few simple phone calls.
You each have 2 Senators. Thats 2 phone calls or e-mails or letters. Thats it. Tell them to either confirm or (much more likely) oppose the nominee. If you know nothing about the new nominee, and you likely won't, then go to groups with similar mindsets and look at the groups official position. Now, you are all likely sex positive, free minded, hopefully left of center people so I can recomend a few groups. See what the DNC says, or MoveOn says, or the ACLU, or NCSF, NY Times, Human Rights Commission, Democracy for America, or any of 1000 like minded groups. See what they say and see if you agree with potential problems of the nominee You make two phone calls and I'll love you forever. Why should you call?? I'm gonna share a secret.
We actually track every single phone call, letter and e-mail sent to us (by us I mean politicans and staffers). Everyone has a data base program and your personal information gets put in there along with your position on issues. Any politican worth spit (with a decent sized constituency) is going to have that program. And for a fight as important as this, the database software will be set up to count those in favor of the nominee and those who opppose them. Thats the little secret. Heres the big one. Those numbers make a serious difference. Oh sure, behind the scenes negotiation, media reports, and the Senators personal feelings play a big part, but when you call, they hear about it. They really listen when people call in and say that they are pissed off.
I briefly interned doing constituant relations for a few months for a local offical several months back. And when the phones started lighting up with angry voters, we listened really quickly. Some things we couldn't fix, but several times plans were changed or canceled because of outrage from the voters. All it took was people making short phone calls and mailing in letters for us to start listening.
Call your Senators. Need contact info for them? Go here
You'll be seeing several more posts in the coming weeks about this issue, so be prepared. Tomorrow we will return to stories of sex and beer, but today is politics.
Jake
Get off your ass, stop whining that politicians never listen and make a few simple phone calls.
You each have 2 Senators. Thats 2 phone calls or e-mails or letters. Thats it. Tell them to either confirm or (much more likely) oppose the nominee. If you know nothing about the new nominee, and you likely won't, then go to groups with similar mindsets and look at the groups official position. Now, you are all likely sex positive, free minded, hopefully left of center people so I can recomend a few groups. See what the DNC says, or MoveOn says, or the ACLU, or NCSF, NY Times, Human Rights Commission, Democracy for America, or any of 1000 like minded groups. See what they say and see if you agree with potential problems of the nominee You make two phone calls and I'll love you forever. Why should you call?? I'm gonna share a secret.
We actually track every single phone call, letter and e-mail sent to us (by us I mean politicans and staffers). Everyone has a data base program and your personal information gets put in there along with your position on issues. Any politican worth spit (with a decent sized constituency) is going to have that program. And for a fight as important as this, the database software will be set up to count those in favor of the nominee and those who opppose them. Thats the little secret. Heres the big one. Those numbers make a serious difference. Oh sure, behind the scenes negotiation, media reports, and the Senators personal feelings play a big part, but when you call, they hear about it. They really listen when people call in and say that they are pissed off.
I briefly interned doing constituant relations for a few months for a local offical several months back. And when the phones started lighting up with angry voters, we listened really quickly. Some things we couldn't fix, but several times plans were changed or canceled because of outrage from the voters. All it took was people making short phone calls and mailing in letters for us to start listening.
Call your Senators. Need contact info for them? Go here
You'll be seeing several more posts in the coming weeks about this issue, so be prepared. Tomorrow we will return to stories of sex and beer, but today is politics.
Jake
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